Chasing The Tomorrow(Editing)

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I don't know what guts inside of me keep pushing my heart to say i love him and I really miss him. He was gonna drive back na to headed on his home and  there just something inside of me have the courage to tell him what I really feel about him.

“Chase,wait!"i screamed

He slowly glance at my gaze,he look at me with a confuse look. I knew this day would come,and this day I have enough courage to tell him the truth. The feelings that i have been hiding.

"Uhmm....i still love you, I'm not desperate but indeedly i really love you. I couldn't stop my self to look at you, I couldn't stop myself finding you, and I couldn't stop myself loving you. Kahit na sobrang sakit ng ginawa mo noon ay napatawad parin kita, I couldn't help it. I want you back"i said  feeling nervous of what respond

Wala siyang imik,his face were unreadable. Happy,sad, disappointed,nor regretion i don't know. He's look at me were unsure,but all I could sure is he like me too.

“r-rielle"he said with a shaky voice

I was frightened,what if his love had fade? What if he fall in love with someone else? Fuck im so doomed right now, I can't accept the word "no" to him, I'm not ready yet,why have I been doing this too also? I know inside me that i wasn't ready but I still push my self to tell him this.

"Ashtherielle..”pagtawag saakin ni kim,she held my hand with a worried look.

“Its okay kim,i can do this”i said

“I'm sorry...."he said

What? Sorry? Does that mean he felt sorry for what he had done before or he's sorry because he doesn't love me anymore? Why can't he just answered me straight! I'm confused right now!

“w-what do y-you mean?”i ask stuttering,i don't know but my heart was beating faster than ever.

Muling tumahimik ang paligid,tanging tinig lamang ng hangin at ng naka paligid saamin ang aming naririnig. Mas lalo pang lumalakas ang mga boses nang walang umimik saamin,mas lalong naririnig nila ang lakas ng tibok ng aking dibdib habang sila'y tahimik lamang.

“I fell out of love na rielle, binigay kona lahat.. I'm sorry...naubos ako"he said in lower voice

I was devastated,kasalanan koba na fell out of love siya? O hindi? I mean napagod at natakot ako,the way he treated ne before was so brutal na diko nakalimutan ng ganon ka dali lalo na't we're workmates!

"F-fell out of l-love.....chase?"tanong ko habang unti unting tumutulo ang luha sa aking mga mata.

Huminga siya ng malalim bago itinutok ang kaniyang mga mata saakin,may mga lungkot at panghihinayang ang mga ito. Ako ba talaga ang nagkasala? O sadyang ayaw na niya?

“Rielle, I don't know why but when I saw you beyond far away so happy.. I just felt contented, nawala nayong naramdaman ko...minahal kita ng sobra, I cheated yes inaamin koyun at nagsisisi ako,pero I've changed Rielle.. sinubukan kong maging mas better..10 times better of the old version of me,binigay ko lahat pero naubos nako eh..napapagod din ako”sagot niya

“bat hindi mo s-sinabi?"panginginig na tanong ko "bat d-dika nag explain??"

“sinubukan ko diba?"pag iyak niya "pero you pushed me away,kaya I choose to be silent than to chase you back...masaya kana eh, continue your life without me....you can achive your dream naman without me by your side,just t-take care.”pag papaalam nya

Kasabay sa hawat hakbang ng kaniyang paa ay siya ring pagtulo ng aking nga luha,parang may kakaiba na kirot ang aking nadama. Unti unti ang kaniyang anyo ay nabubura at ang aking mga luha ay walang puwa sa pagtulo. Napakasakit,kung kailan handa nako sumabal sa laban ay saka naman siya mang iiwan. Diko alam kung ano mararamdaman ko,nakakapagod kaseng magsimula ule sa umpisa at masasaktan na naman.