Always Forever (me and you until the end) Part 2 Larry Stylinson

Chapter 6 Liam

TRIGGER WARNING SCENE OF DEATH/BAD NEWS

"Well Zayn. Wish me luck. I don't know why I'm doing this but I think you would give me a sign if it wasn't right. wouldn't you?"

I glance around our bedroom. I'm not really sure what I'm hoping I will find but maybe something that would settle these nerves in my stomach or give me some sense of calm. I place mine and Zayn's wedding picture back down on the shelf next to the bed. I know to most people looking in I look like a mad man sitting here talking to myself but I'm not. I always like to talk to Zayn. I know he is not here in body but I like to believe he is still here watching over me and the girls and guiding us. I know there may come a time where I won't speak to him daily but for the time being it brings me comfort.

The day Zayn was taken from me I felt like my world had ended and to be honest if it wasn't for the darling angels me and Zayn had I think I can honestly say I would have drank myself stupid and followed him. Zayn was the other half of me, my soulmate, the reason I smiled, the reason we have our beautiful girls and I miss him dearly.

I don't think anything can prepare you for the news that someone you love has died unexpectedly. It was honestly the worst day of my life. I wouldn't wish that happening to my worst enemy.

"Lou, can you come over and watch the girls please? Zayn's been in an accident and I gotta get down to the hospital" my voice shakes in destress and panic

I think he said yes before I ended the call and nervously got my stuff together. The hospital didn't say much, just that there had been an accident and I needed to get to Holmes Chapel General as soon as possible. I only spoke to Zayn an hour ago, he was on his way back home. He had been to an art gallery opening in Manchester and was on his way back. How can he now be in a hospital? I don't get it. I don't understand.

Louis has not even stepped into the house and I'm flying out the door. I can hear him shouting at me to call him as soon as I hear any news but my head is a mass of wool. I can't think straight as I just jump in the car and zoom away. I just need to get to him.

Pulling up outside a&e I don't even park in a spot before I'm sprinting into the hospital. There are doctors, nurses, patients, kids, noises of machines, children crying, general hospital chatter but I can't focus. I just know I need to see him. My heart is beating so fast thinking of all the possibilities of what's happened. I tried ringing Zayn on the way. Hoping he would pick up and tell me he had a bump on the head or a broken bone and not to worry or rush but the phone went straight to answerphone. The bile rising in my throat as I think of worse case scenarios at why is he here and why cant he answer the phone.

I push through to the front of the line at the reception desk and give my name. Time seems to take forever as the receptionist types on the computer. I wish she would hurry the fuck up. Why are things taking so long? I want to just tear around the department and look in the rooms myself before she tells me to take a seat. I don't want to take a seat. I want to see my husband. Begrudgingly I sit down. My foot tapping on the hard floors I'm sure in time to my beating heart. How is my heart beating so fast when I feel like I can't even breathe? I feel like my heart should be stopped frozen just as I feel time is stuck at the moment. Everything is taking so long. Time, there is never enough of it. Usually time goes so fast. Happy and joyous moments are gone in the blink of an eye yet when you want the time to move fast it seems to slow down, prolonging the feelings you don't want to feel. I just want to see him then I know I can settle down and be ok. He will be ok. I know he will be ok. He HAS to be ok.

"Mr Malik"

I look up, a nurse is calling my name, standing quickly I head towards her

"Is he ok?, where is he? Can I see him? I notice as she lowers her eyes slightly before looking at me in sympathy and placing her arm on my shoulder.