Letters

Chapter 4

I watched the coffee machine make my so needed coffee. The atmosphere was very quiet, which was very unlike this department. There were always people talking, running around, yet suddenly it was quiet. A tap on my shoulder disrupted my peacefulness, making me realize the quietness was only imagined. The loud sounds of the busy work place were back, but they were still comforting in a way.

“Yes?” I turned around to see who it was. I wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone.

“Hi.” Björn smiled awkwardly. He looked nervous. Björn had been working in the finance department for about one and a half weeks, it surprised me how good of a worker he was. At first I wasn't expecting him to really be that good, but he was proving otherwise.

“Everything okay?” I looked at him. I was a bit concerned due to him looking very distressed.

“Yeah. I was just wondering if you were free this Friday.” he scratched the back of his neck. The coffee machine beeped, indicating that my coffee is ready. I turned around and started putting sugar into it.

“Oh I don't know what you mean by that...” I said, with my back still turned to him. I did know what he meant by that. I just wanted extra time to think about what to say to that.

Björn paused for a bit, he forced out the words: “A date.”

“Oh, that's not a good idea...” I said softly as I turned around. I didn't want to hurt him, but I most likely was. The idea of a relationship intrigued me, and I won't lie - he was attractive, shorter than some, but I didn't mind it. Sadly, relationships in workplace were prohibited, and I didn't want to get myself or him in trouble. Although I was the head of this department, maybe for me it's okay, but I'm not sure, and I don't want to risk my job. If I lost this job I'd have to start all over, and I've worked very hard for this position. No one has gotten promoted as the head of a department as fast as I have. I wasn't even trying to get that promotion, I simply worked as much as I could to get my mind off of Frida.

“Why not?” Björn furrowed his eyebrows. I felt bad because he looked very disappointed. I didn't know what to say to make him feel better, and I knew there was nothing to say to do that.

“I'm sorry, but relationships in the workplace are prohibited here.” I explained, hoping he'd understand. Björn opened his mouth to say something, but didn't, he ended up simply nodding and walking away.

I went back to my office and sat down in my comfortable chair.

“I really should get a coffee machine in my office...” I whispered to myself and took a sip of the coffee.

This was the second time someone from work had asked me out. The last time I did agree to go out with him. The guy got fired for it. They threatened to fire me too, if I did something like that again. So the guy broke up with me, he said it was because it was unfair for only him to get fired. He even said I should've been the one to get fired because I provoked him, and simply because he was a man and was better than me. Honestly good that he decided to leave me. I did wonder why they didn't fire me, I assumed because I always worked overtime and did stuff that'd take weeks to do in three to four days.

I didn't know what to do, I was pretty much done with my work for today, but I decided to hang around. It was Monday and usually I was busier at the start of the week, yet surprisingly I wasn't. It felt weird.

I put the cup of coffee down and started working again. I had barely anything to do, so I tried to do it slowly, so leaving early wouldn't be necessary. I hoped I'd run into Frida at the store again. Frida hadn't called me in a while, but I didn't want to bother her. She was most likely very busy at work.