Letters

Chapter 1

The strong smell of the delicious food filled each room of my apartment, and so did the sweet sound of music. I swayed to the beat of the song, cooking. There was a thunderstorm outside and it was pouring rain. It seemed like the perfect evening. The smell, the music, the rain and distant rumbling of thunder... It all just made this evening feel cozy, yet a little unsettling because of the storm. I hadn't felt this happy in a long time, this really was the definition of a perfect evening.

“I'm definitely going to cuddle up with a book later...” I thought as I slowly stirred the pasta. I liked cooking, I wouldn't say love, but I enjoyed it. I wished every evening could be like this. But winter is coming up, this is most likely the last or second last rain of this year. But, I liked snow too. I and my sister, Mona, often would get together at our parents' house in winter, and make a snowman. However, I'm still going to miss rainy nights combined with music and delicious food. Now I'll get to have snowy evenings... With my car buried in snow in the morning and being late to work, and blizzards. Although I had always wanted to kiss someone while there's a raging blizzard surrounding us, it seemed so romantic... Like in the movies. Even if it's a bit dangerous. I hoped I'd get to have a kiss like that this winter.. I haven't got laid in forever. And if I don't find a boyfriend, I think my mom will drive me crazy.

I sighed, at the thought of a relationship. Falling asleep in his arms... Exchanging kisses before work, after work. Smiling at the thought of him... Sex... I longed for it all, a relationship, but I'm not the most open person, nor the one to speak to people in bars or anywhere else. To be fair I didn't know how to meet people. It puzzled me.

I looked up at the clock, expecting my mom to stop by. I hadn't seen her in a while, but my sister called me about a week ago and said she's planning to go to Jönköping and have lunch with our parents, maybe I'll join them. I haven't seen Mona in about two months, since her wedding.

Suddenly the doorbell rang, completely throwing me off my train of thoughts, or mess of thoughts... Trains are a bit too organized to be compared to what sometimes goes on in my head.

“It must be my mom...” I said quietly to myself as I turned the heat of the stove down a little, and went to open the door. Before opening it I stood there for a bit, trying to make myself look as energetic and definitely not tired out. She ringed again and I opened the door.

“Hello Aggie.” Birgit, my mom, said as she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Hey, mom.” I answered, forcing a smile.

“Wow, whatever you're cooking does smell incredible.” she said. Mom always tried to say nice things to me, and for the past five years, in her eyes, I have been someone to who everyone needs to be gentle to. I didn't like it much, no one ever said what they thought exactly, but they didn't also exactly lie. Mom and dad always sugarcoated stuff. My sister didn't. She, thank God, had remained a normal person, telling exactly what she thinks and exactly the truth.

“Thanks, mom.” I kept smiling. We both walked into the kitchen and she handed me a stack of mail.

“Do you never check your mailbox?” she asked, in an almost condescending tone. I looked at her.

“Oh, no I do. I was just worn out today... After work, I forgot to take my mail.” I chuckled awkwardly, regretting saying that. She's already always worried about me.

“Oh. Are you sure you aren't working too hard?” she tilted her head sympathetically, “This is a very nice apartment...” she hinted.

“Yes, it's nice, but I've told you a million times... I'm not working too much, nor am I working too hard. I stay longer sometimes if I have extra work, or if I want some free time after.” I tried explaining, but this sentence couldn't lead anywhere good.