Letters

Chapter 12

It was getting late, most of the old people were leaving. Mom and dad were watching a movie inside, and the younger people were still outside talking, smoking and drinking. Some had already left, I couldn't spot Anne, so I assumed she left.

I stood outside with Frida, near the fence smoking a cigarette. I barely ever smoked, but this whole day had been so overwhelming I needed one. I and she were talking about how Benny soon had a business trip and she could stay with me for a while. She was starting to say dirty things with a wicked smile, I could only stand there and listen, as I blushed harder and harder. I had no idea that she was like that... Suddenly Anne came up to us.

"Oh wipe that grimace off your face," Frida said as she took a puff of the cigarette, I was in shock, "I was just kidding... Maybe." she said while exhaling at the same time.

"What were you guys talking about?" Anne asked.

"Nothing." we answered at the same time, Anne looked at us weird.

"Sure..." she said suspiciously. I looked at Frida and she immediately smiled, raising her eyebrows. I couldn't hold back my smile either.

"Do you smoke?" Frida took out a pack of cigarettes from her pocket. Anne nodded and took one out, Frida after handed her a lighter.

"I don't think I've met you. I'm Anne." she said exhaling a shaky breath, it was getting cold outside.

"Frida." she answered and smiled. Anne started asking us many questions about how we know each other and our friendship, I was starting to get uncomfortable, and incredibly cold, my jacket was in my car. I put out the cigarette and threw it in the trash.

"I'm cold," I said, taking a few steps closer to Frida, "Can we go get my jacket?"

Frida had just finished her cigarette, so she put it out and threw it in the trashcan. She put her arm around me to keep me warm and we started walking. She was whispering stuff in my ear, making me practically soaking. I didn't even realize Anne was coming with us when I kissed Frida on the cheek.

"Oh!" Anne said and made me jump. I almost fell, but Frida caught me, "Are you two a couple?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, that's really personal." Frida said after turning around. Anne nodded, saying she'll go look for some of her friends.

We continued our way to the car. When we finally got to the car Frida pushed me against it and kissed me.

"Frida!" I exclaimed and smiled, she smiled back the warmest smile.

"Have you ever made out in a car?" Frida asked with a devilish smile. I shook my head, so she opened the door and motioned me to get in, so I did. She did after too.

Frida looked at me for a bit before kissing me. She has had a few drinks previously and I could taste the liquor on her lips.

She pulled away, "By the way, this is our official first time french kissing." Frida whispered.

"But we didn't..." I looked at her in confusion, then suddenly she kissed me again, quickly pushing her tongue inside my mouth. Frida wrapped her tongue around mine, as if she was trying to tie our tongues into a knot. I could feel my underwear get more wet. Frida put her hand on my thigh, and slowly slid it up. She put both of her hands on my sides and pulled me closer. Frida sort of pulled me into her lap, she couldn't exactly lift me in the car so I helped her by sitting on her lap myself. Her hands wrapped around my body, they slid slowly up my body higher until they reached my breasts. Frida kisses my chest through my shirt.

She lowered her hands, "Can I?" she asked as she held the edges of my shirt, I nodded. She pulled my shirt up a little and kissed my chest again, I felt her bite me slightly. I put my arms on her shoulders.

I had no idea how far we'd take this... But I knew I didn't want my first time with Frida to be in a car.

"I think we should stop." I said, she looked up at me and smiled.

"Of course love. I'm really sorry about that last time..." she apologized once again.

"No, it's okay." I kissed her and pulled down my shirt.

"I just don't want our first time to be in a car." I said and kissed Frida again, cupping her face. She nodded and smiled, we got out of the car and held out my jacket so I could put it on.

I walked a little in front of her, I wanted to go inside, even with my jacket I was cold. I felt Frida get closer, then she slapped my ass. My eyes widened and I turned around.

I was definitely not expecting that. Frida looked at me and smiled innocently.

"Have you got no shame?" I laughed. Frida shook her head, smiling even more. Then her smile faded.

"Is that Björn?..." she looked at the person as we got closer to him.

"Fuck." I whispered and walked toward him. He greeted me and gave me a kiss. I asked him how did he know where my parents lived, then remember I had told him the address incase he wanted to come. I felt so stupid, and bad for Frida. She looked so sad and became awfully quiet. Björn asked her a few questions about where she had disappeared, she simply said she was busy.

I asked Björn if he's gonna stay with me here, he answered no and said he'll stay with some friend.

He has friends left and right...

I thought, a little jealousy took over me. But, I didn't really need many friends. It's better to have one or two really good friends rather than a million.

And I have that friend, is she even just my friend? I thought, as I looked at Frida.

Björn stayed for a while and then left. I was getting really tired, and most people had already left, some were just leaving.

Frida and I were in my childhood room, talking. Now it was just a guest room.

She was telling me how much she missed me over those months, I was quite truthful and said I tried to forget about her, I thought she'd be angry, but no she understood it.

When the last people had left we decided to go to sleep. There was another person staying, over, I'm not sure who, and they were in the other guest room, so me and Frida sleeping together wouldn't arise any weird questions.

I had some clothes at my parent'a house, so when I stay over I wouldn't have to take a lot of clothes. I took  a t-shirt for myself and one for Frida.

Frida turned around while I got changed, and I did the same for her.

We both got into the bed, lying on our sides and facing each other. She stared in my eyes, as if mesmerised.

"What?" I chuckled quietly, wondering why she was looking at me so long.

"Can I kiss you?" Frida smiled softly, before I could answer, I felt my body move toward her itself and kiss her. As if our bodies were magnets. We kissed for a bit, then she broke the kiss. When we kissed I got this weird feeling in my stomach, excitement and worry all at once. Desire and the need to hold back. I was ready to kiss her forever, to let her kiss me all over, have sex with me, but I knew I wasn't ready for that. I just somehow knew.

"Goodnight."

"By the way... This is just for now... But I... I don't know how to say it."

"What's wrong?" she looked at me really confused, with a bit of a terrified look in her eyes.

"It's just that, I'm not really... Comfortable doing anything else... Currently."

"Oh, Aggie..." she smiled, tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear, "Being in a relationship, for me, is not only about sex... Especially with you."

"What is it about?"

"It's about being there for each other, caring for each other, loving each other... Longing for the other person when they're away for too long... All that stuff." Frida whispered ever so softly. It made my heart melt, I thought I was about to cry.

I didn't say anything, I just smiled. She pulled me closer, wrapping her arms entirely around me. I put my head against her chest, I could hear her heart beat calmly.

I sighed  a sigh of happiness.

I wasn't lying to myself anymore.

I was with the woman I loved.