Letters

Chapter 5

Frida had been avoiding me since I told her Björn asked me out, and that I agreed to a date. It had only been a week that she wasn't speaking to me, to be honest, I kind of missed her. As a friend though. I don't know why she wasn't calling, why she avoided me in the store, in the streets, and I didn't want to know.

Somehow, not speaking to her made me feel better and worse at the same time. I talked to Mona about how I feel about Frida, she told me I'm in denial about my feelings and sexuality, I told her she's stupid and doesn't understand anything. Mona still stood by the fact that deep down I'm in love with Frida and I may have told her to go fuck herself. So she hasn't spoken to me too.

I felt lonely again... I had started speaking with my sister again, but now she doesn't speak to me. She told me to grow up and tell Frida I love her, which I most definitely don't. Until I do that, she won't speak to me.

Björn was visiting some friends in Norway, so we didn't talk much. I would call him in the evenings sometimes, but he didn't really answer most of the time.

I had started talking to Frida again. I told her I'm gonna be seeing someone and she became distant and cold. But I feel like that's on her. I'm not supposed to swear off dating just because she's here, why should I? We're just friends, nothing less, nothing more. And we'll stay friends because that's what we are. Friends. Just friends.

Friends.

Up until yesterday I thought that Frida hates me, but last night she asked if she could have dinner with me, at my place. Turns out she doesn't hate me. Maybe she was feeling down for a while. I wasn't sure and I didn't wanna ask, most likely wouldn't even tell me.

I had just finished cooking the dinner and cleaning my house. I had less than an hour to get ready so I quickly took a shower and got dressed. I did my make-up and put on some perfume. Björn had gifted me it as an early Christmas present because he'd still be in Norway on Christmas.

Honestly, it eased me that Björn wouldn't be here on Christmas. I'd be able to spend Christmas with my family, without having to introduce him to them. I wasn't ready for anyone to meet him. Björn and I had been on just three dates, we weren't that serious yet.

I turned the stove on, so the food would reheat, while I set the table. Frida said that Benny didn't want to come, so it would be just the two of us. I prayed to God it wouldn't be awkward. But at the same time I knew if Benny came, it'd be extra awkward.

I sighed and put my hands on my hips, looking at the table. After glancing at the clock the doorbell rang. Frida was exactly on time.

I answered the door. At first Frida looked around. She had never been in my apartment. After a minute or so she finally greeted me. Frida still seemed a bit cold toward me. I hoped she wouldn't be like this all evening.

"Whatever you've cooked smells absolutely delicious." she said with a bright smile. I only then noticed how good she looked.

"Thanks." I smiled back at her. We went to the kitchen and sat down at the table.

"So, how did the date with Björn go?" she sat down at the table.

"I'll tell you in a minute. What would you like to drink? I have wine and..."

"Wine would be great." she cut me off. I got both of us glasses, after pouring her and myself wine I sat down.

"The date went better than I thought it would," I began, "He called me later that evening, when he asked me out, asking about my favorite restaurant. I told him it's quite pricey and since he's out of a job, it's not a good idea to take me there, but he insisted. So we went there, had a nice dinner. Got to know each other. Turns out he's a very decent guy... I don't really know how I feel about him though... Somehow, he seems more like a friend than... I don't know, a boyfriend. But I'm not putting labels on anything yet."