Letters

Chapter 11

I started at myself in the mirror. I was about to cry, but I couldn't ruin my make-up.

"I will get through this." I said to myself with a big sigh. But will I?

Fear was taking over my body slowly. I heard a car pull up. I froze. No one would come so early other than her. No one had a reason to come so early. Shivers ran down my spine. I can't explain how I felt. It was a weird feeling, a feeling I haven't felt before.

I realized I've been in the bathroom for much too long and walked out. I took a deep breath in and out, gathering myself. I walked back downstairs and to the kitchen.

Luckily she wasn't there, she must be talking to my mom. I just don't know why I was so sure it was her.

My dad asked me to mix the salad while he sets the big table up outside. I grabbed the spoon and right then she walked in. I tried to ignore her, but she too close to me.

"Hey." she, who's name I still don't want to mention, said.

I ignored her and mixed the salad.

"Can you hear me?" she asked, I still ignored her.

I ignored her until I couldn't, "Why did you come here?" I said in a whisper, so no one would hear.

"I was invited..." she shrugged her shoulders and leaned against the counter with her back.

"You knew I'd be here, did you want to see me? Or did you want to hurt me?" I kept whispering. I was so mad. I mixed the salad aggressively.

"I don't and didn't want to hurt you. I just..." she stopped, almost as if she had forgotten what she was going to say.

"You just what?" I asked in an angry whisper, as I mixed the salad more aggressively.

"I just missed you." she admitted.

Those words made me even more angry. I didn't say anything at all. I left the spoon in the salad, I was done mixing it anyway, and walked away.

I could feel her eyes follow me as I walked upstairs. I knew she'd follow me. I knew she'd want to know what's on my mind, she'd want to apologize once again.

I went to the bathroom and just stood there. As I had thought, she was walking up the stairs. The stairs were old and squeaked.

"Agnetha?" I heard her call out, as some of the doors creaked. Finally she opened the bathroom door.

She stood there, completely stunned, as I had taken off my shirt. I wanted to make her feel like I did when I found out she was coming, stunned, no words.

"What's wrong?" I asked sarcastically and tilted my head. I reached my hands behind my back to undo my bra, but she turned around and closed the door. I heard her walk away. I felt, happier, in a way. I don't know what I had proven by doing that, but at least she won't speak to me during the evening. I at least hoped so. If not, showing her my breasts was completely useless.

I walked out of the bathroom and outside. My mom was talking with her. When I walked up to them, she couldn't even look me in the eyes, and didn't say a word.

"Frida said that the necklace is absolutely beautiful and that you have great taste, I do agree." mom smiled warmly, while she kept looking at the ground.

Clearly my mom wasn't aware that we don't mention her name.

"Thanks." I smiled and sat down, next to her. I wanted to make her as confused as possible.

Before leaving home I had sprayed on my new perfume, it was very expensive, but the sales person said it's a sexy scent, that anyone will fall in love with. I don't know if that's true, maybe that was just a way to get me buy it, if it was, it worked. I wondered if she had noticed my perfume.