When will I learn to live my life peacefully
In mere snapshots that only I and my camera will know?
When will the people look up from their phones?
I can only seem to look down when I am walking alone.
I sometimes wish that people thought the way I did
but then I remember how I am always wishing my thoughts were different.
I am a hypocrite and a believer, but that dynamic never made sense,
I'd like to change the ugly thoughts in my head, but it is a wish that is determined by bets.
How long can I go without you? How long before they will notice?
Will I be happy then? When my thoughts are more than novice?
It is a crippling thing, this cyclic way of being,
My self hatred and resilience do rounds until the early morning
I look for something to blame, that screen, the pandemic
Something made me this way, I choose not to believe that I inherited it
My parents, they love me, but I wish things were different
I wish I had known why their love had it's finish
I wish I could fulfill their vision of who I'd become,
But I worry that chance has diminished.
Empty bodies and minds, I think about leaving here all the time
Always the fool, I never look quickly enough to see the warning signs
I say I want to leave but I cannot imagine myself going
But still, I would follow him, even if where he goes offers me nothing.
I'd like to leave here without running off a cliff
Into an enigmatic abyss where true loneliness lives
It makes a home out of people like me, I cannot say that I feel certain in this
I want to ocean to whisk me away on the nights I stay up late
But somehow, I fear that I'll miss out on the things I love that lie in the midst of things I hate.
This landfill these people have made—I want to escape,
But I know I cannot run anywhere without meeting my fate.
YOU ARE READING
Sunset Over Pointe Inn
PoesíaLove once stopped me from writing this book, and I hope that whoever is reading this someday finds the kind of love that inspired me to finish it.
