Sunset Over Pointe Inn

Love is not something to be tolerated

I have only ever known love to be one thing;
A back and forth between having him and begging.
Get off your goddamn phone, it's all that I'm asking
And each time I would lose, but it's because he did not love me.

Rider connects my freckles with finger-drawn constellations
I joked and asked him to be my maid of honor at our wedding
For us to play all parts, so that we would not need a party
But then his face turned more serious as I continued joking
He said he would not want that because it'd mean he was in the wrong position,
And although we don't talk about our future I see him in it.

You see, love is not something to be dealt with.
It does not beg for attention because the first year was perfect.
It does not pine for the person it first fell in love with.
It is not annoyance when I ask what you're doing after your night shift.
I exhausted all my options with Anthony, Thomas,
I blurred the lines between true love and ambivalence,
But now that I've felt true love I don't always know what to do with it,
It is a learning process, feeling my passion reciprocated.
To accept every compliment without a put-down following it.
To not expect an argument after my long nights of silence.
Rider would skip out on the bars if I surpassed my social tolerance.
I hate that a year ago I settled for such childishness,
All because I believed it was the best I could get.
But here he is, excavating the lines on my hands,
Kissing my forehead while I lay in his bed,
Telling me he loves me as I go in and out of consciousness,
Lulling me to sleep with his hands on the surface
Of my back,
I'm so glad
That now I've learned the difference.