Of Ice and Hopitals

Chapter 15

May 3rd, 2009

The beginning of May had always brought joy to Lisa. Back home, it was during that month that nature truly started to flourish and the days were longer and warmer, however not so much that it was too hot to enjoy going outside. The grass gained back its verdant colour and lushness, making it plenty comfortable to lay on to read or nap, or even just to contemplate the surroundings and listen to the joyous chirpings of the birds. Buds finished to open up, revealing brand new leaves, coating trees in green, yellow, or plum. Flowers flourished under the warm sunlight, brightening the world in soft and poignant colours alike; from white to almost neon pink and orange. The air smelled like fresh rain and the humid earth in which vegetation grew. Butterflies batted their intricate wings and landed on flower petals gracefully. The bees went back to work and hovered from flower to flower as they collected nectar and played their part in pollination, and thus in keeping nature alive and thriving. After months of cold and snow, it felt like the planet was waking up. It felt alive again and brought hope as a new season was around the corner. It was a time to revel in and never failed to bring her peace.

Today was no different, which is why Lisa and her six-year-old sister found themselves laying on their back in a wildflower meadow in Jasper National Park. With their head resting on their interlaced hands at the base of their neck, little Sofia mirroring her big sister's pose, the siblings played a game of guess what the cloud is.

It was a perfect day, except that it was not. Meteorologically speaking, it was as beautiful as it could be; they were alone in a vast field of long grass and vivid red and yellow wildflowers, and all around them were tall and small pine trees harbouring life. They faced mountains made of rocks on which remnants of snow kept melting under a pleasant twenty-two-degree Celsius temperature. Life surrounded them.

Yet, under the surface, Lisa was drowning. Her world had crumbled and mercilessly knocked her off her feet barely a week prior and all the eighteen-year-old wanted to do was to get lost in the forest and weep until there were no tears left in her body. Until she felt whole again if that was even possible.

But she could not, did not allow herself to indulge in her desires. A week ago, her wants and needs had become secondary to those of the young girl right next to her laughing about a weirdly shaped cloud.

"Lisie, look! It looks like an old cheese!" Sofia chortled as she pointed at the cloud with her small index so that Lisa could see it.

The older girl did not have it in her to smile but forced a grin for her sister's sake.

When Sofia answered with her own gleeful, unrestricted smile, Lisa's heart broke once again. It broke for this innocent human being who had had a taste of the universe's cruelty much too early in her life.

And Lisa wondered what the hell she got herself into, if she would ever be enough for Sofia, or if filling for the legal guardianship of her young sister was perhaps a complete mistake.

Lost in the trappings of her restless mind, the high school senior did not notice the other girl herself becoming silent and pensive beside her, royal blue eyes set firmly on the vast expense of the sky. In that instant, she looked older than she should.

"Do you think mommy can see us from the clouds, Lisie?"

It was nearly a whisper, and the sudden fragility coating her voice hit Lisa square in the chest.

She had to swallow a painful sob, always wanting to be strong for her baby sister. "I think so. You know mom could always see everything we did."

Sofia grinned, "Even when her eyes are closed!"

A mournful shadow of a smile grew on her lips as she corrected the first-grader, "Even when her eyes were closed, yes."

The little girl with a high ponytail nodded in acknowledgement, "Will she ever come back home and skate with us?"