𓁹☦︎︎ Bloodlust ☦︎︎𓁹 Sakuatsu vampire AU

« Chapter Twenty-Two »

A/N there is lots in this chapter about Self harm. It's like one chunk of the the chapter, again don't feel pressured to read. <3

"Atsumu your going to be late" Sakusa knocked on the bathroom door, Atsumu was still in the shower and he was going to be late for his first therapy session.

"I'm coming Omi! Yer overreacting!" He came out and his hair was still quiet wet but he had to go so they both left and Sakusa drove them to the therapists.

"I'm still standing by it that this doesn't work" Atsumu sighed as he let his head fall back against the seat.

"Well, atleast try it?" Sakusa held his hand gently.

"Yeah I'll try it but still don't think it will help" he leaned over and kissed Sakusa, it was a small kiss but then it tuned into a longer kiss, Eventually Atsumu pulled away.

"Bye. Love ya" He said as he got out the car and went inside.

When Atsumu got inside he was sat in the waiting area for about fifteen minutes, but he got taken in on the dot of his appointment. For a few minutes he was just sat biting his tongue while the therapist scribbled some things down.

"I'm Dr. Nia" Atsumu didn't answer her, just continuing to bite his tongue while looking around her office.

"So, you know why your here?"

'make it sound like I'm in detention at school' he thought.

"Because I lit my arm on fire basically"

"If that's how you'd like to phrase it, then yes" She paused. "What makes you feel the need to do so?" He wouldn't make eye-contact with her.

"Pressure. Loneliness. Exhaustion. List is to long" His accent only got thicker, making it hard for her to understand him.

"Intrusive thoughts?" She added.

"Guess so"

"I can't help unless you cooperate"

"I don't even want to be here. My boyfriend made me come" He blurted out. Suddenly he was looking her in the eye.

"So he knows that you self-harm and is supporting you to get better?"

"Mhm"

"Does he make you want to harm yourself?"

"God no" he laughed slightly but quickly straightened his face again.

"If anything he makes me not want to because I know it hurts him"

"Does it make you feel guilty?"

"Yeah. Sometimes"

"I remember" she laughed a little, cracking a smile. "I felt so guilty when I self harmed when I got engaged. It never gets easier" She said the last part quieter, while fiddling with her ring.

"You did self harm?"

"Mhm" she pulled up her sleeve, showcasing the many scars on her arm.
Atsumu tugged on his sleeves, making sure they were down.
She pulled her own sleeve back down.

"I understand the struggle. The pain. The relief"

Atsumu felt as though she was a bit easier to speak to now, She had gone through what he had.

!!!!! End of mention of self harm !!!!!

Time skip to after the therapy

"So?...how'd it go?" Atsumu tugged his sleeve slightly.

"It helped..a little"

"Told you" Sakusa had a big dumb smirk.

"Whatever.." Atsumu was smiling now to as he held Sakusas hand.

When they got back to Atsumus, he went into the bathroom and forgot about the lighters from yesterday. Obviously they were gone.
He then went into his room and rummaged through his bedside table and felt the top of the inside of the drawer and found an old lighter he had taped to the top.
He let out a quiet sigh of relief. He went back through to Sakusa and sat next to him, half on top of him.

"Atsumu"

"Yes Omi-Omi?"

"Do you want to get better?"

"Yeah of course I do. It still hurts like a bitch"

"I wish I could understand what your going through, be able to help you"

"I'd never want you to go through this. Not just so you could understand" Atsumu gave him a small kiss, but then he leaned into it a bit more before pulling away.

"I love you Omi"

"I love you to Miya" he ruffled Atsumus hair and kissed him while he couldn't see.

"If we got married would I be Kiyomi or would you be Miya?"

"It wouldn't bother me"

"Yeah but like. Miya Sakusa or Kiyomi Atsumu. I mean it doesn't matter because we're not married or engaged"

"Yet" Sakusa winked at Atsumu. He sat bolt upright and put his face in his hands.

"Your so stupid" Atsumu murmured, he hugged Sakusa round the neck. He didn't realise he was actually sat cross legged on top of Sakusa.

"And your about to fall"

"What?" Atsumu actually did fall, but onto his side in the couch.

"I accept my fate in letting the couch consume me!"

"What time is it Omi?" Sakusa checked the time on his phone.

"7:45pm"

"It's to late for a nap but to early for me to go to sleep" he grunted as he sat back up next to Sakusa.

"I don't understand how your always so tired, even when you sleep fine"

"It takes a lot of effort to light yourself on fire a lot" Sakusas head whipped round to face him.

"Not funny Miya"

"It was a little funny" Atsumu was holding back laughter.
Sakusa held his fingers close together as if to say 'tiniest.'

"Plus I have tk speak to lots of rude people all day and I can't be rude back because then I'm in the wrong so" Atsumus head was now laying on top of Sakusas legs as he looked up at the ceiling.

"Omi"

"Mhm?" He looked down.

"Would you ever turn me?" Sakusa leaned down and held Atsumus face.

"Nope" he kissed him briefly and then brought his head back up.

"I'd never be tired"

"No"

"I wouldn't have to eat as often"

"Never happening"

"If I stopped lighting my arm on fire would you turn mee?"  He thought about it for a second.

"Never ever" he shrugged.

"And stop referring to it as 'lighting your arm on fire'"

"Well I'm not wrong"

"Well your not lighting your whole arm on fire so you are wrong"

"Want me to show you? I'll do it to prove my point" Sakusa squished Atsumus cheeks with his hand.

"That's not funny Atsu" he loosened his grip and let his hand fall to the side of Atsumus face. He bent down ad kissed Atsumu for a second.