A Wicked Smile

Labored Breathing

Boop.

Boop.

I gasped and opened my eyes, looking around myself.

Where am I?

What the hell happened.?

It was a room colored in mint, with a window to my left. The sun was hidden by the many clouds, and rain puddles seemed to drop down.

I then looked down at myself.

My body was covered by a blanket, and I raised it up with my hand. When I saw the bandages, some fragment of the previous events flew into my head.

The fight..

Pain came back too.

I groaned, holding over to my side..

My whole body hurts.

So I am in a hospital, right? In a hospital.. But how did I get here? Did someone carry me? Or..

..Wait, Chara!

Last thing I remember was Chara holding my hand and telling me something, despite me being semi-conscious. What were those words?..

I hardly recall. Actually, I don't.

"Son of a bitch.." I whispered to myself.
"Was it worth getting yourself half-dead?"

Time flew on to what seemed to be endless hours, and nobody came to visit me..

Am I dead?

Maybe I am and they're just unaware, there's a failure in some of the fancy computers and all those beeping machines, and they consider me alive?

It was hard to even think, like someone banged my head with a sledgehammer.

I tried to grab the handle of the medical bed with my hand, but it seemed to be hit by an electric shock. I yelled and then flew down.

Down..

It seemed that the fall would be endless.

I fell into a dark well that had no bottom. Or rather, it seemed to me that I was falling into a bottomless well.. In fact, when the brain began to function more or less normally, I realized that I had fallen into unconsciousness.

At times I seemed to be out of touch with reality. How and why this happened? If I had an idea.. But suddenly I caught myself reading some ridiculous nursery rhyme aloud. Or I quietly whisper some commandment.. Or I laugh, I don't know why.

It didn't look like a mental disorder - and why would it suddenly? Because of fear of death? Nonsense!

I was not terrified of the seemingly inevitable fall into the Abyss. Maybe I got this privilege when I went through a bunch of shit?.. Although even before the death of my parents, I treated death as a completely natural process that completes the life cycle of any biological organism.

It's a shame, of course, when death finds you earlier than you expected. But resentment has nothing to do with fear. And why be afraid if after death there will be nothing? No suffering, no pain, no disappointment, no self-awareness.

Nothing at all.

What could be more stupid than to cling to a life that has decided to leave you? Is that a futile attempt to return the departed love? Or a promise made to someone? Perhaps a desire for revenge?

"Interesting.." I thought. "If I had a weapon, would it occur to me that the best way out of this situation is to put a bullet in my head? And how difficult is it to lift it, remove the safety, put the muzzle to the temple and pull the trigger? And is it worth it to close your eyes?.."