Behind closed curtains [HYUNLIX]

forty-one

Felix:

I didn't dare to close my tired eyes, what if Hyunjin wakes up and finds me sleeping? I assumed he would be confused and lost about what happened, he would need me.

That's why I forced my eyes to stay open while the sun arose higher on the bright sky. I watched the clouds gathering and deforming in front of the huge window.

The sunbeams cracked their way through the thick clouds from time to time. They made it look like it was warm outside, when I was sure it wasn't. It's mid November right now, there's no chance that its actually warm outside.

Most of the leaves had fallen down from the few deciduous trees and the always dark green pines framed the castle in a tight hug.

The sun passed her highest spot and my body slowly turned limb as well thanks to Jinnie's body still laying on top of me. But I didn't dare to let him go either.

What if his heartbeat suddenly weakens even more? What if his breaths become unsteady? What if his eyes flutter open? What if he chokes on his own spit?

See? I couldn't leave him. I didn't even want to leave him. I was fine with staying by his side. I will always stay by his side.

For the surely 143th time I was gently running my hand through his soft hair today and breathed in his calming scent. Sometimes his breaths get barely audible, in those moments I would panic again.

I would feel my heart tightening, my breath quicken and cold sweats running down my back while I desperately searched for his pulse.

But I would find it every time. Its always there, steady, calm and alive.

His warm body warmed my own and I had thrown the covers over us, its actually quite cold if you don't move for a few hours and only wear a thin shirt and trousers.

He was like a huge, fluffy teddy bear to me right now. His soft skin, his steady breaths and his warmth were able to comfort my anxious heart. I didn't even wanted to think about what if he didn't just faint....

My world would shatter. I couldn't be able to live this happy and alive without him. He brings me life and is like a light for my soul. A source for my happiness and comfort.

As long as I know him by my side I know I can achieve everything. As long as he's in this country with me, life is worth living.

As if he heard my thoughts he suddenly shuffled for an inch. I quickly shot up, careful to not move him too harshly. A low groan escaped his pretty lips while I felt warm tears gathering inside my eyes.

My heart eased but raced at the same time as I ran my hand through his hair over and over again. His head slowly moved from side to side, groaning.

"Mghm.", he groaned as the sunbeams hit his closed eyes. He quickly buried his cheeks back into my chest, making me chuckle and calming down my heart once again for a bit.

"Hey Jinnie.", I softly whispered, my heart fluttered against my ribcage and I felt heavy relieve washing over me. His sun kissed features came alive again, his whole existence bloomed with life.

He didn't look like a lifeless doll any more and my heart tightened but eased thanks to it at the same time. My lips curled into a relieved smile, holding him close.

"W- What happened?", his raspy voice spoke up, his eyes looked confused. "You fainted.", I was able to breath out before warm tears ran over my cheeks, "You- you scared me."

His expressions immediately softened in worry, holding me close again. His warm, strong arms finally hugged my waist again, holding me close, assuring me he's there. And I couldn't even put it into words how much this meant to me.