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TM 20
"Can I be brutally honest with you?"
Hero wiped the juice of the steak he is having from his face before smiling back at me. "How brutal can you be?"
We are once again in a park somewhere in the metro which I am still unsure whether is a good or a bad thing, after all the trips to the parks that we had. I mean, I don't know, maybe privilege is just too embedded in my head that I am sometimes having this inkling of annoyance na why am I being brought to a park? I mean, this is Drew Agoncillo 'no and the best place you could bring someone like me is just sa park lang? But you know, Hero has been really a good influence in me because look at me now, I'm sitting on this plaid blanket enjoying my goblet of cabernet sauvignon made from the Napa Valley with this man and we are both oblivious to the world around us like we were in a bubble or something.
"I don't want to fall for you."
Hero smiled wider after hearing what I said but those in his face aren't real smiles. It's that smile that he wears when he's hurt but he doesn't want others to know that he is hurt. It's a pretentious smile. It's a smile that I have absolutely hated. But it's a smile that I have to give at this moment.
"That's way too brutal, even for someone like you, Drew." His tone was kind of passive, he was trying to best to get his emotions away from what he says and if I was only a total stranger, he would have fooled me. "That exclusive you gave, was it all just for PR?"
Napakanuot ako ng noo. "What?! No! I still am going out with you, am I not? I like going out with you."
There was this deafening silence that came and surrounded the two of us. No one said anything to anyone. We were just there, dead silent as we stare into each other while the world around us continues to be loud, wild, and crazy.
"I am just afraid, Hero. Sobra akong natatakot." Ibinaba ko yung goblet of wine na hawak ko as I confessed what I really feel.
When something happened last night with Joshua and I, I realized something. I realized that I cannot afford to bring pain to someone as precious as Hero. I cannot subject Hero to the pain that we are bringing to Sofia. I can't imagine myself hurting him because I value him too much to do that to him at hindi ko alam kung maipapangako kong mailalayo ko yung sarili ko from the temptations of Joshua.
Nakita ninyo naman yung nangyari kagabi, right? Hinalikan lang ako and there I was, on the floor and on my knees, sucking the semen out of a guy whose girlfriend is just sitting inches away from us. I got persuaded that easily and who's to say na hindi na siya ulit mangyayari? Who can guarantee me that none of this stuff would happen if I already fell for Hero? Who can reassure me that I can spare Hero from my bad decisions and promiscuity?
One would say that I am just treading on shallow waters here. Ang dali lang naman kasi raw ng solution for my issue. Layuan ko lang si Joshua Wendell Agoncillo and all my problems would be solved. I just have to be as far as possible from the guy so I would not have to worry about anything bad.
However, my darling, one thing you probably still don't know is that things are always easier said than done.
Well, it would again be my fault if it isn't easy to get away from Joshua. I mean, bakit nga ba naman kasi ako pumayag sa gusto ng Mom to do business with him and his company. If I didn't do the deal with him then things would be easy and I would not have to have this talk with Hero. Pero hindi iyon ang nangyari eh. I chose our business and the people who could potentially benefit from the partnership.
