Out of the Blue [A Benson and Carisi Fanfic]

Chapter Thirty-Five

TW: Talk about SA, abuse, and violence.

Olivia stood on the front porch, her arms crossed over her chest. It took a few moments for her mother to get out of the van and meander up the path and to where Olivia stood.

"Dominick and some other guy came and beat up Rick this morning," Serena spoke with a soft sigh.

"I know."

"Olivia, how can you allow that to happen? Rick is your stepfather. He took care-"

"He took care of me?" Olivia scoffed.

"Hey-"

"Nope. I'm going to stop you there. He may be my stepfather, but I don't owe him anything. He took so much from me without giving at all," Olivia replied. Serena swallowed hard before moving to the swing. She sat down on it as Olivia leaned against the doorframe.

"Tell me why they beat him up, okay? Just tell me," Serena breathed. Olivia stared out into the distance as she tried to organize her thoughts. 

She never thought she'd ever tell her mother about what happened. When Serena picked Rick over her, Olivia could no longer be completely open with her mother. There were things that couldn't be said, because then Rick would find out. 

"When you were pregnant with the twins, you were so uncomfortable and didn't want to be touched. Rick was... he was angry that you wouldn't have sex with him. He also hated me with such a burning passion..." Olivia trailed off, as her voice started to shake. She slowly moved to the swing and sat down beside her mother.

"That wasn't the reason, Olivia. Did you tell them to beat him up? After bitching at me-"

"Rick used to come into my bedroom and climb into bed with me. He'd touch me in places that a stepfather never should touch his stepdaughter. Rick would put his hand over my mouth to keep me silent, but you could still hear my muffled cries. When he was done, he'd take a few minutes to beat me. I used to have bruises all over my face, but I covered them up with makeup," Olivia explained, as she nervously played with the hem of her shirt.

She felt sick to her stomach as she finally told her mother about the abuse. Olivia couldn't imagine how her mother could ignore or not even see what was happening. Olivia planned on being very observant of Milo so she didn't miss anything. She didn't want her little boy to be depressed and feel like she and Dominick weren't there for him.

"D-don't lie to me, Olivia Margaret. I didn't raise you to lie about something this serious. You are such an attention-"

"YOUR HUSBAND SEXUALLY ASSUALTED ME, MOTHER!" Olivia yelled, as she turned to face her mother. Serena's face paled as she ran her fingertips over her jeans.

"Please... please be lying," Serena whispered.

"I wouldn't lie about this, Mother. I wouldn't lie about how shit my life was once Rick came into the picture. We never talked, and we never went on our little dates anymore. Rick was so excited when I got accepted into college because that meant he could kick me out. He wouldn't have to hear me breathe or see me at all. It would be all about Ella and Gavin, even though it's always been about them!" Olivia exclaimed, as her hands started to shaky.

Olivia stood and stepped towards the railing. She wrapped her hands around the white wood and swallowed hard. 

"I tried my hardest to be a good mother, Olivia. I tried my hardest to be there for you even after Ella and Gavin were born. Going from one child to three was a big deal. Rick... he's a good father," Serena spoke, her voice wavering. She didn't believe herself.

"No, he isn't. If he was a good father, the twins wouldn't be little entitled brats. I would still be a part of your family... I wouldn't be thinking about how you won't be there when I give birth to your first grandchild," Olivia breathed.

Serena stood and moved to where her eldest stood. She hesitantly rested her hand against Olivia's lower back and rubbed it with her thumb.

"I can't leave him," Serena whispered.

"You could. You could walk away right now with Ella and Gavin. Leave his disgusting ass and repair what damage he caused to those kids."

"It's not that simple-"

"Does he hurt you too?" Olivia questioned, as she looked towards her mother. Her glasses were foggy, but she could still see the pain on her mother's face.

"I need to get home."

"Mom-"

"In the end, I will always be his wife. There is no getting out of that alive, Olivia. Take care of yourself and be the best mama to that baby that you can be. Okay? Don't end up being like me," Serena spoke, as she stepped away and quickly walked down the stairs.

"Mom!" Olivia cried, as her mother got into the van and drove away.

Olivia started to sob, as she watched her mother's van until it was too far away for her to see from the porch. Things were much worse than even Olivia knew. There would never be a relationship between Olivia and her mother, or Serena and little Milo. 

///

She sat in her livingroom that night with a baseball bat resting on her lap. She ran her fingers over the smooth wood as blood dripped from her busted lip. Upstairs, she could hear Rick snoring loudly. He always slept deeply after beating her. 

"She needs her mama," Serena whispered to herself, as she moved her hand to the handle of the bat.

Serena stood on shaky legs and slowly moved up the stairs. She shut the doors to Ella's room, before doing the same to Gavin's. As she padded down the hallway and to the bedroom, she shared with her husband, she kept whispering that Olivia needed her. Her grandchild needed her.

As the door creaked open, Serena brought the bat back and prepared to swing. She stopped by the edge of the bed and saw her husband's bruised nose. She took a slow breath and swung hard.