Even If It Hurts -H.S. AU

H -38

Violet didn't wake up at all last night, thank god. I was afraid that the article would trigger her nightmares, and even potentially make them worse.

I barely slept at all, I kept waking up to every little sound, thinking she needed me. Every time I opened my eyes though, I found her snuggled up into my side, her mouth hung open and sleeping peacefully.

I did not think last night was going to devolve into what it did. My goal was to tire her out so she'd sleep hard, but I did not plan on pushing her as far as I did when it started. I have never seen her so submissive, and at my complete mercy, like she was last night. I guarantee no one has seen her that way. The way she was begging and pleading for me made me absolutely lose my fucking mind. I didn't want it to stop.

I take a deep breath thinking about the way she looked on the bed in front of me and try to steady myself. I do not need to be hard while flipping pancakes. Embarrassing.

Violet is still asleep, but I was getting a little restless in bed, so I decided to get up and make us breakfast. We didn't eat dinner last night, and I don't know if she's eating regularly at all with everything going on right now, so I made her favorite. Chocolate chip pancakes with strawberries.

I remember making this for her countless mornings when we lived together briefly. I loved when she would wake up to the smell and look over at me smiling. It feels like so long ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Even with the things that were happening in our lives at the time, being with her in those simple moments was the happiest I've ever been.

"Hi." A soft voice squeaks out from behind me, startling me out of my thoughts.

"Shit-" I mumble, knocking the box of pancake mix over on the counter. I spin around to face her and I'm met with wild hair and tired, grumpy eyes. "Good morning, baby."

"It is almost ten-thirty." She grumbles and walks closer to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and leans her head on my chest. "Why did you let me sleep so long?"

"Because you needed it." I whisper and kiss her forehead. I slide my hands up to gently massage her shoulders.

"My body hurts." She mumbles and exhales a heavy breath when I push my thumb into a tense knot at the back of her neck.

"I know, baby, I'm sorry." I say sincerely, remembering the look on her face last night and how guilty I felt that I overwhelmed her so badly.

"Don't apologize." She says firmly and pulls back from me. "Good morning." She smiles up at me softly and I lean down to kiss her. "I'm starving."

"I bet you are." I chuckle as she pulls away from me. "Sit down, I'll bring it to you."

Her hand trails over my ass when she turns and walks over to the breakfast table. I roll my eyes at her, but can't keep my gaze from falling to her bare legs poking out from underneath my shirt that she must've thrown on when she got up. A twinge of guilt emerges in my chest when I notice she's walking a little slower than normal, the aftermath of last night clearly taking a toll.

"You did not break me, Harry." She says and my eyes snap up to meet hers as she sits down. "Don't look at me like that."

"Sorry, baby." I mumble and turn around to plate our breakfast.

I set the food in front of her and she immediately picks up a strawberry to pop into her mouth. I smile softly at her before I cut a piece of pancake with my fork, my stomach growling.

We eat in silence for a few minutes, and I'm trying to come up with words to tell her what I meant to last night. It never felt like the right time, since we were either engaging in an in depth conversation, or having sex. She was so tired by the end of the night that I didn't want to bring it up.