Even If It Hurts -H.S. AU

64

Harry, Phoebe, Cam and I have been at my apartment all day. Cam set Phoebe up on the couch and she's sorting through piles of my stuff. I told her I don't want anything, so one box is for her to take and one is a donation box for the women's shelter.

Phoebe is just a few days short of being cleared for regular activity, so she's happy to help and have something to do. I'm grateful she's here. I'm grateful for all of them.

My stomach has been in knots since I woke up this morning, knowing we were going to be here today. I told Harry we could hire people to go in and just clear the place out, but he said it would be good for me to do it myself. With "help", of course. He really means with him and Cam for protection.

The first thing I did when we got here was swallow the anxiety suffocating me and storm into my bedroom to grab the box of mine and Harry's memories. I put it in the back of his car immediately and haven't set foot in there since.

They keep asking me what I want to do with things and I tell them every time, I don't want any of it. The things I need or want to keep are already at Harry's place- our place- and anything else I can buy.

The feeling this little apartment used to give me is gone. It doesn't feel like home to me anymore. Not since learning who exactly broke in here and trashed it. Everything is tainted.

After I gave the police his name, the case was moved up the chain to a detectives desk. He assured me that they would follow my lead and investigate Johnny and his movements without tipping him off, but I haven't heard anything since my initial phone call a week ago.

We're almost done. It's not like I could fit that much stuff in a five hundred square foot apartment anyway. I just want to get out of here.

Suddenly I get a little lightheaded and plant my hand on the wall next to me to steady myself. I think being in here is actually making me sick.

"Vi? You okay, baby?" Harry asks when he sees me with my eyes squeezed shut trying to regain my bearings as my stomach knots for the billionth time today.

"I just don't like being here." I admit quietly.

"I know, love." Harry whispers back and kisses my forehead softly. "I'll get you something to drink."

He steps around me and into the tiny kitchen. Before I can stop him, he opens the fridge and I cover my mouth with my hand.
I haven't actually lived here in months. I can't even remember the last time I made a meal in my kitchen. The smell of rotting vegetables fills the room, making both Phoebe and I gag.

"Close it!" We yell at him in unison and he slams the door shut again.

"You idiot!" Phoebe shouts, covering her face with a pillow to escape the smell.

"I'm sorry." Harry chuckles once and rolls his lips into his mouth to stifle any more that threaten to come out.

"Oh my fucking god." I groan, my already upset stomach still churning at the foul scent of decaying food. "I have to get out of here."

I quickly pull the front door open and step out onto the landing. I leave it open behind me. To air out the apartment for Phoebe's sake, but also so that Harry can see me. I take a deep breath of fresh air, but jump when the door adjacent to mine opens.

"Mrs. Martinez." I smile at my neighbor, not realizing how much I missed her until this moment. "Hi."

"Hi, sunshine." She smiles back and pulls me into her for a hug. Her cat, Dulce comes out behind her and I bend down to pet him when she lets me go.

"Don't let him in here!" I hear Harry shout from behind me and I laugh.

"My boyfriend is allergic." I explain to her, picking Dulce up to set him back inside the apartment he just ran out of.