Even If It Hurts -H.S. AU

68

"Why isn't she waking up?" I hear Harry ask as my eyes shut. No matter how hard I try, I can't keep them open.

"Her body has been through a lot." A softer voice responds to him. I attempt to open my eyes and tell them I'm fine, I'm awake, but I can feel myself getting pulled back under. "She needs time to rest and heal. It could be days before she fully comes to, but you need to know that it's perfectly normal after the trauma she's endured."

Trauma? I think to myself as I drift back off to sleep. Did something happen to me?

-

Everything hurts, but also nothing hurts.

My body feels heavy, but empty. There's an ache in me, but I can't place it. I feel like I'm waving my hands for someone to help me, but they're not moving. I want to open my mouth and scream, but my jaw stays shut. I somehow manage to lift my eyelids, the only part of me I can control, but they fall shut immediately.

"...she didn't even know, and now it's been ripped away from her." I want to open my eyes to see Harry, ask him what he's talking about, but I don't have the strength. What do I not know? What was ripped away from me?

"I know, son. Let me get you another coffee."

Dad? Why is my dad here?

-

The numbness in my bones is starting to wear off and I think I might be able to move this time. I try to adjust this uncomfortable position I'm in, but only my foot twitches. I frown in disappointment and open my eyes just enough to where I can keep them open for longer than a second.

My eyes immediately find Harry. He's standing off to the side of my bed and my brother is in front of him. Cas has his hand on Harry's shoulder, talking so close to his face that their foreheads are almost touching. My chest aches when I watch Harry nod his head to whatever my brother is saying as tears fall down his cheeks.

When did my brother get here?

-

I feel light.

I'm floating on top of the river with my hands out to my sides and my face toward the sun. I let the current carry me wherever it wants to go, not bothering to kick my feet and change it's course.

My dress is soaked, but it doesn't weigh me down. My skin is warm and my belly is full of a kind of excitement I've never felt before.

Is this what happiness feels like?

There's no cloud hanging over me for the first time in a long time, only the warm summer breeze and blue sky. I don't have to look over my shoulder to see what's chasing me anymore. There's only forward from this point on. Only my future.

I feel a strong arm wrap around my waist and I smile before I open my eyes to look at him.

Our future.

My beautiful curly headed boy gives me a dimpled smile when I sit up out of the water to face him.

"I miss you." He whispers, brushing my hair off my shoulder and allows his fingers to trail down my back.

"I'm right here, baby." I tell him firmly, cupping his face in my hands. I lean forward to kiss him and he hums a wonderful sound against my lips.

"Come back to me, Vi." He begs softly.

Before I can assure him I'm not going anywhere, I'm pulled under.

Sinking
Down,
Down,
Down, into the dark waters below us.