Behind Classroom Doors III

Chapter CLXXX- The Secrets We Buried

Song above: Risky Love by Lime Cordiale

----------------------------------------------------------

It wasn't long before Marin and Shawn had set up a time and date for dinner. It's tonight, at seven. I tried to get Shawn to reconsider. To think about what it would be like to find out he had a child after all of these years. I even reminded him that he was in a similar position years ago. He once thought that Matthew was his, and for a brief moment, so did I.

Shawn disagreed, saying that it wasn't the same. I'm not convinced, but he's just as stubborn as I am. Next, I brought up how Matthew will never know his biological mom. I told him that the least we can do is offer his biological dad. It was different when we didn't know who he was, or if he was even interested. Shawn shrugged it off, telling me that we are his parents. Even when he was with Katherine, he was tossed aside for a babysitter or her parents to take care of.

I didn't agree with that at all. Katherine loved Matthew, I have to believe that every bone in her body loved him. That's why she left him with Shawn, he was the safest option. An option where she knew without a doubt that he would be taken care of. Whether or not she saw me in the picture is irrelevant.

Maybe all of this is about Shawn's ego. He spent four years raising Matthew as his own. He looks up to him as a father, he even calls him dad. What happens when Shawn introduces his real dad? Will he want to call him dad too? I can see how that would hurt Shawn.

My issue is, it feels selfish. To do what's easiest for our family, not what's best.

Oh well, Shawn's made up his mind. "Livia, your book saved my life! I read this and it opened my eyes. I've been out of my abusive relationship for six months now." I smile and finish signing her book copy.

I had it back and said, "That's amazing! I've found that when we voice our stories, they become real. Not just for me but for others. We're not alone...even when we think all is lost."

"Wow." She replies with awestruck and holds the book close to her chest.

The next woman isn't as polite, "Hi! My name is Savannah, I loved your book."

"Thank you, Savannah."

I begin to sign her copy while she hovers over me. "So, was your husband really your teacher? Or was that just for dramatic purposes?"

I handed her the copy, "It was real."

She nods lightly, "Isn't that illegal?"

"Not exactly." I kept it sweet and short but she persisted.

"Really? I mean, it seems a little tactful to me. He notices you're in an abusive relationship and suddenly he's all over you?" I internally groan, wishing that they wouldn't come to me with their opinions on my life. But I guess I signed on for it when I published the book, it's kind of hard to unring that bell.

"I'm sorry Savannah, we need to keep the line moving." She hmphed a response and walked off. To my surprise she left her copy on a book stand beside the exit. Sometimes that's what we get here. Most can relate to my story, the love hate between Dean and I. They see my relationship with Shawn for what it is. Then I get the others who only read my book for the juicy love story that happens to coincide with my reality. Those people are frustrating but I do what I can to mitigate it.

Shawn calls it an unfortunate casualty to outing our relationship. I wanted to keep our names secret, but Shawn said that wouldn't help anybody. He was right.

I stand up from my seat once the line is gone. Now it's just the few patrons left in the store. My publicist, Cliff, helps me get my stuff together and walks me out to my car. "Can I just say, I'm glad this tour is almost over." I tell him as we reach my car. I opened my trunk for him to put the rest of my copies in.