Behind Classroom Doors III

CLXXXIX- Don't Tell Me What I Can't Handle

"So, can I ask you something?" I wait for Becca to finish taking a sip of her green tea. She gives me a silent nod of approval to go ahead. "What happened between you and Luke?"

She raises an eyebrow, "Do you want the cliff notes or-?"

"I want to know everything." This is my chance to start over with Bee. To learn more about her, instead of everything being about me all of the time. I never want that to be our dynamic again.

Bee leans back in the chair, aimlessly looking around Shawn's office. Luke begrudgingly left this morning. Things are clearly a little unresolved between them. Finally, Bee's gaze falls on me. "Do you remember back in high school when Luke admitted all of that horrible stuff Dean told him?" How could I ever forget? It was a turning point in my healing. I was finally able to let my pent up emotions out. It doesn't mean I was okay with any of it, and it still sends chills down my spine whenever I think about it.

Bee moves on without my response, "Well, I had a hard time with him after that. I didn't know how he could believe those things about you and didn't even ask me about it. I would've defended you." The tone of her voice tells me that this really bothered her. That while it was a turning point for my mental health, it was a downward spiral for their relationship. "It just rubbed me the wrong way. Then we graduated and things were good between us. We took a year off of school to travel and we did." They broke up for the second time not too long after this. If I remember right, she wanted to stay in Brookview and he didn't. "When we got back, I thought I wanted to stay in Brookview. I had Jenny and Jake, I had my parents."

Something tells me it wasn't enough for her. "Luke didn't want to stay so he continued to travel."

Becca opens her mouth in surprise before closing it. I guess she didn't expect me to know that. How could she? It was Luke who told me. "I love Luke." She says finally. "I think I always will."

I lean on Shawn's desk, having a seat on the mahogany wood surface. "Love doesn't always mean meant to be."

She sets her green tea down on the end table beside her. "Exactly! I just wish he could understand that."

"So what about this last time? What happened?"

A sad look crosses Bee's beautiful features. "This last time was my fault. He wanted to move back to Brookview for me. He was going to stop traveling just to be with me and-" She swallows. "I couldn't let him. I didn't want him to look at me one day and regret his small town life with a small town girl." Now that's something I can relate to completely.

I smile at her, "But you're here now, in New York."

"Yeah, I am. Luke's here too," She laughs to herself. "Of course he's here."

"I'm not saying you should give it another chance or anything, but I don't think he'll ever love anyone else the way he loves you." That much is obvious, even back in school he never strayed far from her. From the outside looking in, she balanced him out really well. Where he was shy and awkward she was outspoken and fearless. It's hard for me not to root for them just a little.

"I just think that I'm a little lost right now. I don't fit here in New York like you and Jenny, but no one close to me lives in Brookview anymore." It's easy to see why we were so distant for so long. Aside from my own personal drama getting in the way of our friendship, I was the first to move here. After me was Seth, then Hunter, then Jenny, and Jake. I never stopped to think about how Bee felt about it all.

I reach out my arm to rest on her knee. "What if I told you I might be moving back?"

Her eyes go wide, "Wait, are you serious?"