Behind Classroom Doors III

CLXXXIV-Marriage is Hard

At first I wasn't sure where I would go. I didn't want to impose on Jenny again and Seth and I are still on the outs. Hunter would've let me stay regardless but marriage is hard, and I'd rather not cause problems.

So I went to see my brother in law. "Hey, Jack." I offered a smile but it came off a little sad. "Shawn and I got into a fight. I was hoping I could crash your night?" It sounds ridiculous coming out of my mouth. Most of my friends are in New York, and I choose Jack's penthouse. But the way he stepped aside and gestured for me to come inside gave me hope. Maybe I haven't burned all of my bridges.

"Want a drink?" He asked me but he was already heading towards the bar cart in his living room. I nodded and waited for him to make me something strong and bring it to me. "Do you want to talk about it?" I don't. However, letting him in on what's going on is the least I can do.

I take a large sip from my crystal glass. "Shawn told me he slept with Layla." The words came out sour and raw. As if I'd eaten far too many warheads and it scrubbed my tastebuds off. "It was four years ago, when I was seeing Ty." But we never slept together. It was practically a middle school PG-13 relationship if you ask me.

Jack's surprise was all in the eyebrows. He raised them and scratched his forehead trying to think. Finally, he found what he wanted to say, "That's a bit of a surprise."

I take a bigger drink from my glass and start talking before the after taste shivers happen. "I know! He let me go years thinking he never slept with anyone else separated or otherwise. I told him Ty and I never got that far but he was sleeping with her and lied to me about it. The only reason he told me now is because of what Marin said on TV." It's a total invasion of my trust.

I take a deep breath since I'm clearly worked up over this. Jack shakes his head, "What does he think about you being here now?"

I shrug my shoulders, "He doesn't know I just...left. I didn't know where to go but I couldn't stay there." He remains silent for a few seconds. The analog clock on the wall ticks by as I wait for any kind of response.

Instead he stands up and takes my nearly empty glass out of my hands. When he comes back, the glass is almost full with amber liquor. He sits across from me, with a glass of his own. "I know we haven't really been on the best of terms but I'm glad you came here. We're family, right?"

I smile and feel my cheeks warm from the liquor. "Thank you for saying that." Taking a deep breath, I try to hold my tears back. I feel so out of control with my life and I don't know where to go from here. For the first time, I can't count on Shawn to lead the way.

Jack surprises me by moving over to me and wrapping his arms around me. His embrace gives me the boost I need to finally cry. I feel terrible but I needed that more than he could know. I needed him to tell me everything would be okay and that I wasn't alone.

I pull away when I realize that Shawn is the person I need it from. Jack is just here at the moment, looking at me with furrowed eyebrows and concern. "Are you okay?" He asks me while I wipe my tears away.

I nod, "Yeah of course, I'm sorry."

Jack shakes his head, "Don't be sorry, I've met Shawn. He's stubborn." It's nice to be validated for the way I feel. Then he says, "Can I admit something to you? I wasn't necessarily mad at you for the book. I was upset at Shawn because he forced you into it."

"What do you mean?"

"He would just talk about it all the time. He was so happy and excited for you to write it. To clear his name and yours. But I could see how uncomfortable it made you to relive all of that shit. Even now when you're doing book tours and going on talk shows. You're not happy, you're traumatized and people turn it into entertainment. Shawn is happy though. The perfect supportive husband that can't see his wife's misery." At first I'm offended but then I start to think about it. And he's right. I've hated having to tell my story over and over again. I thought the book would stop the questions, but it backfired.