Personal notes to anons who may never see them

2.

I know that as soon as this is done your gonna ask me to read it to you. I dont know what it is about my voice, even when I studder a lot, that you find attractive, but each to their own. We have been through so much together, both good and bad. You have seen me at my worst and my best, you have let me vulnerable and allowed the eounds to heal that 1 and others caused. You are always first in my life. You are the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last when I sleep. I never get tired of your presence, I never get tired of your voice or your face. I never get tired of you.

Im sure if 1 ever sees this, she will recognize some similarities, but you have changed me. You have made me so much better than I ever would have hoped to be on my own or even with anyone else and I am so thankful for that. You make me a better person every day and I can truely, honest to god know what love is supposed to feel like now. You are everything I need. A freind, a lover, a caregiver, a partner, all of it. It's incredible that you, a single person, can be everything I have ever wanted. But you do it, and you do it well. I can come to you for anything and everything, you nurter the best parts of me and keep the worst ones at bay. I literally have never been more happy. Even in the shitty situation I am in I know that I can count on you for anything that I need you for, and I hope you know you can do the same to me.

I laugh so much more with you than I have in years. I talk more, I feel alive. For the first time in so long I feel alive. I know what love feels like now. I know what love shpuld and shouldnt be, Im not guessing. I feel like there is a reason for me here now, a reason to continue living like this and a reason to keep pushing myself little by little to be able to do more. To be able to handle more. I've seen such a change in you and I am so proud of you. I am so proud of what you have accomplished and I feel even better knowing that I helped with that. You are getting so much better with yourslef and I plan on continuing to help you.

As both of us grow into adults and see the world for what it is, as we both experiance some of the most powerful years of our life in a very shitty situation, and as we both learn and grow as people and as a couple, I am so happy to be yours and not a day goes by that I don't think about how happy you truely make me. You mean so much more to me than 1 or anyone else ever has or ever will. That message was the best choice of my life and I wouldn't change where we have gone for the world. Even now, we are advancing and doing things we have always wanted to do, together. With encouragment and help I have no doubt we can do anything together. I love you, and I don't think I have ever meant those words before like I do now.