Personal notes to anons who may never see them

4.

I've been through a lot of heartbreak. I've been through a lot of things that I don't wish on anyone. But I think that there are very few things in my life that pale in comparison to the things you've done to me.

You came into my life with so many promises, so much hope and life. You quickly became my safety, my idle, you became something that I wanted to be. And then you met him. At first everything was fine. You were inconvenienced but still strong enough to hold your weight. And then gradually you fell from grace. You, like the snake you always were, struck and left destruction in your wake.

You abandoned me. The mother figure I had always wanted and the image that I had created shattered before my eyes, and it was all your fault. You left. You left me. You left your cats. You left your home. You left your family. You left everyone and everything that ever cared about you. You claimed to be so strong and yet you left me behind under the guise of someone else. It doesn't matter what he's doing to you. The fact of the matter is that your selfish. You refuse to give anyone closure under the name of pain. You refuse to take care of your belongings under the name of avoidance. You chose to leave the people that cared about you to start a new life that you didn't, and don't, deserve.

I hate you. From the depths of my soul I hate you. Every single person that you have ever touched has now been destroyed. I have no sympathy and no love for you anymore. You were the one person I trusted enough not to let me go and yet here I am because you wanted to be selfish. Maybe you've always been this way, maybe my intuition finally failed me. Maybe I didn't want to believe it. But I stuck by you through everything you did to everyone around you with some kind of hope you'd redeem yourself. That you'd pull yourself away from the path you were going and wake up. I see now how stupid you are, and how I'm even worse. I trusted you. And that in and of itself is a fate worse than death.

I can assure you next time you look in my direction I'm going to kill you, whether it's in my eyes, my words, or my body I don't care. I want you to feel the pain you have caused me, and everyone around me. I want you to feel every second and every scrap of destruction you left in your wake. I want you to feel every breath, every tear, every shred of pain and regret, and every single second of betrayal. You stuck the knife in my back, and I will pull it out and return it to you in kind. You are nothing to me. And I will never make that mistake again.

I do have to thank you for opening my eyes. Not only to how you really are but by reaching me that I really don't know 100% of everyone's true intentions. Even if this wasn't your predicted outcome at first, you had several chances to make amends, so it would be very surprising if this was the case. But as I said, you have opened my eyes, burnt old bridges, and built new walls, and for that I guess I can thank you.

Lastly, you left us for dead. We could be homeless at any second because you can't help but sink yourself lower. You refused our help because you wanted to be strong, but when legitimately faced with the issue you're just a coward. You're the opposite of a wolf in sheep's clothing. You're an idiot in a statue. We were willing to do anything it took, including breaking ourselves to help you and yet you left us behind.

Sincerely, unapologetically, and with full offense, fuck you. You deserve everything you're getting and if he doesn't kill you, one of us definitely will.

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I would call you 5 here but honestly you don't deserve a title. You're a homewrecker, a thief, and an abuser. You're just as much of a monster as she is, don't think we forgot about you. I don't have much to say because I never thought you were worth my time, but don't worry, fate will have you soon.

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Be careful, I bite.
Hard.