Personal notes to anons who may never see them

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My birthdays tomorrow. It doesn't feel like It should. Last year it felt happy, the year before that too. I felt like maybe there was hope for me, like I still had a place in their minds. But this year is different. No one seems to care or even remember. Their all too busy with the exchange student to acknowledge I exist for one day. I wanted one day. I wanted one day where no one looked down on me, where no one yelled at me or labeled me a failure. One day where I finally could let go. But everyone's to busy. Either work or some other trip and I'm stuck either going somewhere and risk feeling worse than when I left, or staying home and sulking about my family's lack of care for me. I tried, I tried to be an adult but its so hard to be released into this world with no instruction or anything, just do it. I know I messed up bad, I lived and I learned. I'm trying to fix it, so why Is everyone still so cold? I've changed I swear. I did everything you asked and yet I'm still stuck forgotten. Happy birthday me. Here's to another year lost to time.