What Are You So Scared Of?

Chapter 2

"Tay... Tay wake up" I quietly whisper in her ear. She made it about twenty minutes into The Lion King (her choice), before she passed out on me. Of course, I wasn't going to interrupt her, the way she wrinkles her nose while she sleeps is the cutest thing ever. She mumbles a faint "nooo" and rolls over, her back facing me. I take advantage of that and push her off the bed, which is low
to the ground anyway. Laughing hysterically I peak over the side, where she lays face up smiling my favorite smile back at me.

"You're gonna pay for that" Tay says as she jumps back up onto the bed, tackling me. She straddles me on her knees, one on each side of me, pinning me down. She leans close to me, and her breathing becomes more labored. Getting closer and closer to my ear, she leans down and contrary to what I thought was going to happen, she screams, "First one to the kitchens a rotten egg!!!!" Tay leaps off my bed and bounds through my house before I can even recover from what just happened. 'If only she knew', I think to myself as I quietly hop off the bed and make my way to the kitchen, not before I slip on a hoodie.

"I brought cookie dough so we can make cookies and decorate them!!!" Tay squeals excitedly, and all I can do is smirk at best. "Jen, are you okay? You seem like.. like before..when.." She trails off, avoiding eye contact with me. It's no secret to Tay that I struggle with an array of mental disorders, severe depression being one of them. I quickly shake my head, eager to calm her worries. No one should ever worry about me, I'm not worth it.

"Yeah I'm alright, what's the oven supposed to be preheated to?" I ask her, a lame attempt to reassure her of my well being. "350, do you have any eggs?" she asks and before I can answer she's got her head in my refrigerator. I let out a small giggle, to which she pops out and says "That's the kind of j dawg I like to hear". She puts all the ingredients we need onto my countertop, and after putting them together she places even round mounds onto the cookie sheep and puts them in the oven. We put on some music, and since she chose the movie I get to chose the music. I put on some Rage Against the Machine, and Tay makes a face.

"Suck it up buttercup," I say, emphasizing the pop on the P. The oven chimes, signaling the cookies are done and Tay grabs them, spreading them out on various plates and opens her backpack. What's in there is both hilarious and handy, at least a dozen different colored frostings and sprinkles. She empties her bag onto the table and we begin to decorate. I slather a few with some blue frosting I mixed with black to make a cool dark blue, and of the course Tay goes right for the bright purples and yellows. Funny, two people that are polar opposites can become such close friends. I reach across the table for the blue sprinkles, and as I do so the sleeve of my hoodie slides up just enough for last night's outburst to be shown to Tay, written on my wrist.

"Jen...." she wearily says, gazing at my wrist. I realize what has just happened and sheer panic rips through me. "I...I.." I stutter. I get up off the chair as fast as humanly possible and run to the bathroom, locking myself inside. I start to hyperventilate, I can feel an anxiety attack coming on. I curl into the tightest ball I possibly can in the corner near the tub, and try to regulate my breathing.

"Jen... listen... I'm gonna wait outside the door till you're ready to come out. I'll always be here for you, you know that." Tay says through the door. I wait a few minutes, and slowly get off the ground and up to unlock the door. She immediately grabs me and pulls me into a super tight hug, burying her face into my shoulder and sniveling a bit. She whispers just for the two of us to hear, "I can't almost lose you again Jenna... You're my best friend." All I can do is breathe and focus on the sound of her voice. I decide in that very moment that if her voice was the only one I could hear for the rest of my life, I'd be content. And that was the very moment in which I fell in love with Taylor Kathleen Jardine.