New Feelings

The Girl Who Caught Death

Time went on and on. Books were discussed, and opinions changed. It was wrong... But it felt so right... I, an immortal, fell prey to the dark shadow of my desires as I sought to cast a light over it. I let myself become a victim of my own emotions. Emotions which do not fit one bearing such a heavy duty as I. Do I regret it? No. It led to a time of happiness, of just enjoying myself. Even though it hurt when it ended, I cannot help but smile. For why should I regret a most precious time? While it was an error of my past, it is still I. It still gave me rewards, despite the heavy prices that were set due to it. For if I were to hover on the past, I would not be able to do my job... My duty. I accepted the consequences, however dire, for when Death lives as a human, that is what they are.

For a year I used to stop by the old man's place, especially after a heavy toll day, intermittently. It helped me through those annoying moments, sharing thoughts and talking with him. Each day I would stop there, I told myself it would be the day I collect, but he always had something to keep me hooked.

One day, after about a year, I crossed paths with his son, James. He was a perfect copy of his father, albeit with fewer wrinkles and no cane. He was an interesting fellow. A construction worker, his hands were thick-skinned and bruised, body formed from physical labour. Even so, he was always jolly, without a care in the world.

Despite being on the opposite spectrum of his father's knowledge, the elder was proud of him and enjoyed talking about him. From one discussion and meeting to the next, I learnt more and more about the family. The kid was married to Jeanne, his childhood love. He always stopped by his fathers to check on him and bring some food. During those meetings, they would often talk of the man's daughter, James's sister, while I often sat in the armchair reading one of the books from his library.

They often involved me in the conversations, telling me about her. Late 20s, tall, slim, smart, away in Canada for studies in Ancient History on a scholarship. Told me I would be enamoured by her, even though I often disregarded it with a smile and a wave.

Time passed and passed for another year. Before I knew it, Winter was coming into full gear. I and William were sitting in our respective places in the room, with the fire burning in the pit.

"Tell me Sam." he enquired, peeking above the latest medicine journal he was reading. I closed my book, believing it was finally time for me to do it, laying it next to me. I crossed my finger, put my arms on my knee, waiting for the question.

"When you came here 3 years ago, you told me about your pharmaceutical group. Wanted me to consult on some drug you were developing. I've searched and investigated but found no traces of the brand."

I uncrossed my legs, leaning forward towards him. I opened my mouth as if I wanted to tell the truth, but my desires for companionship and thought took over, serving him a lie to satisfy his curiosity.

"I'm sorry, I completely forgot about that. These 3 years were so full of joy for me, learning so much from one such as yourself, that I just dropped it. In all honesty, I used a false name for the company. It's one of the major players in the field, and they would not like their name tarnished should it have come to that in any way. It was more my own personal investigation. I never paid attention anymore, as we managed to fix some of the issues of the drug, reducing the side effects to just minor problems, such as intermittent migraines, nausea and weight gain. The trial on humans had been approved, and as such, I just forgot about it. I only stayed for your friendship and discussions. It helps me manage the difficult days when we lose a lot of patients in other clinical trials. I do apologise for the deception."

William was weighing my answer with his eyes as a raised eyebrow let slip his faith in the answer. Nonetheless, he dropped the subject, leaning back onto his chair.