New Feelings

A Walkthrough

For now, he stopped thinking about his situation. I was happy, taking the burden off of him, at least a bit.

"Hey... I can breathe. Sam, I can breathe." he said happily.

"I'm glad you can. Do you want to come with me and take a walk through here? Get you off your feet, to feel better?"

The boy looked up at me, nodding his head.

As he raised from the bed to follow me, he took a glance back, staring at himself and everyone else sitting motionless.

"Is this part of your power?" he enquired

"Yes, yes it is. We're going on a small... Let's say a walkthrough of this side of time. What do you say?" I asked him, holding my hand out to him.

Grasping my hand, the child followed me step-in-step as we walked the hallways in silence. I thought the best way to approach this is to let him ask about what he was seeing.

Passing through the corridors, Matthew was swivelling his head left and right, seeing the spirits just as I saw them, sitting over the people watching them. Some pleading aimlessly at them, some just sitting and watching them. Some just looked at their own body, as they awaited the time of collection.

"Uncle Sam?" the kid put on a more shy and formal tone.

"Yes, kiddo?"

"What are all these people doing?"

"Hmm... Let's put it like this. This is a space between two worlds. Something similar to a dream. Some are stuck in this dream until they manage to wake up. Some are temporarily here while the good medics fix them. Some... Some are just waiting for me to help them."

"I see. But how do you help them, Sam?"

"I... I just go and talk with them. Listen to their hopes, dreams, and wishes. Some of them, I just sit there holding their hands. I just help them understand themselves and where they are. I help them through their process of making a decision." I spoke calmly, in a matter-of-fact manner.

"That's nice of you, Sam. I bet they are grateful. You are a good person."

Just hearing him say that in his little voice was enough to make me tear up.

We wandered around through the hallways, passing by the voices of the spirits of those gone, or stuck in limbo. We arrived at the front door of the hospital. As I opened the door the bright light shone through, an idyllic landscape before us. Green hills sparkled with tall, shadowy trees, and animals running free while the wind carried the fresh breeze of the sea to our right.

"WOW!" the boy shouted excitedly.

"I know, right!" I smiled broadly at Matthew, his happiness radiating to me.

We started strolling towards the beach, enjoying the view, knowing this visage will make it easier to talk with Matthew. The boy sprinted in front of me, allured by the flowery smell of the plants before us. Smiling at his happiness, I decided to breach the subject.

"Matthew?"

"Yes, Sam?"

"Tell me, what did you learn so far about nature?"

"Emm... Emmm... That nature is great, it's beautiful, and we should protect it and enjoy it. I learned about different animals and how they help the ecosystem. How the plants help us breathe, that there is a balance that needs to be maintained."

"You're right, you know a lot don't you? This balance is very important. Your Uncle Sam has these superhero powers to help out with it. I just work with the spirit side that you see and find yourself into."

As I finished my sentence, the kid was staring at me as if he tried to fully comprehend what I was saying.

"Does it mean you help them die?" he told me straight, catching me by surprise.

"That sounds a bit rough... No. What I do, I help them understand their situation and their choices. Unfortunately, it is Mother Nature itself that decides who dies, my only role is just to be there for them."

I gave him a small smile, trying to hide my sadness on the matter.

"I see. Do you not have any power over who lives and dies?"

His straight questions put me in a spot.

"No... Unfortunately not... There was a point I believed that... That I had the power to decide who keeps staying more or not... Nature, unfortunately, showed me... is showing me the consequences of my actions..."

I lowered my gaze, knowing that it was my fault the little kid was facing this ordeal.

"Don't be sad, Sam. It's ok to make mistakes. Dad told me that's how we learn." as he ended the sentence, I could not hold myself, as streams of water started flowing from my eyes.

The boy came closer to me and proceeded to hug me. I crouched over holding him tightly in my arms. I stroke his face, not wanting to tell him what I had to tell him next, but it was time I faced it.

"Matt, I need to tell you something. A few years back, before you were born, I met your grandfather. He was an amazing man with incredible wit and a brilliant mind. For me, who lived so many, many years, he was the first one to keep me so engaged, feeling like... Like I've found someone to share knowledge with. I was initially meant to help your grandad pass over on that day, but I couldn't. I wanted to let that man live longer. So much he had to share. I grew to like him, and love him for who he was. So I listened to my feelings and I delayed and delayed my duty. I grew to know him, your father, your aunt and eventually your brother and you. I just couldn't do it. It was at his ask that I helped him. He was a smart man, and found out who I was, long before I could catch on to him."

"Grandpa sounds awesome. But why are you apologising about him?

There is nothing wrong with wanting the people you love to live longer."

He smiled innocently.

"Unfortunately, for this, it is. It was the first time I deviated from my course, little one. And... And because of that nature sought to balance his years out... It... It means that you are part of that balance. Everything you are going through is due to my foolishness and not doing what I was supposed to do on time. For that... For that, I apologise. I never meant for this to happen."

The child was lost in thought, still squeezing my hands. He stops and looks at me, putting his little hand on my cheek. With a small smile, he starts talking.

"It's ok, Sam. How could you know? I'm sure grandpa was grateful for the time you gave him. I am also grateful. For my mommy, for my daddy. For Aunt Adele, and you Uncle Sam. Everyone loves me so much, and I love them back. I love my life with you all in it. But I also love this place. It's calm and wonderful."

He stopped, gazing towards the playful sea, as the fresh breeze stroke his face.

"If I am going to a place like this, it would be lovely. I can make castles for everyone. And then when we meet, I can show them all the places I made for them. And then spend even more time together."

I wiped my tears away, smiling at his solution to the dilemma facing him.

"I'm sure all of them will be grateful. You want to go back and talk with them a bit more, before anything else. We still have some time, maybe a day or two."

The boy looked at me and nodded. He reached his hand out and grasped mine. We went hand in hand slowly towards the hospital.