Compassion and Oblivion

Personal Update

Hello readers,

I am very sad to report that I had to have an emergency/life-saving surgery over the weekend.

I am finally back home, but I am still quite ill.

That being said, I'm going to take another week before releasing chapter 25, which I have named "Exodus."

I chose this name because of the events that take place during Shane's 6 heart event, and the changes that we see afterward. This chapter will represent Shane's climb out of the abyss that he's been trapped inside of since the beginning of the story.

Please enjoy this excerpt from the chapter to tide you over until I am able to release the whole thing.

***

Void.

That's the only way that Shane could describe it.

A completely empty space.

It wasn't even darkness, it was nothingness.

He wasn't even cold, he was numb.

He vaguely noted the pain that he felt in his chest while he watched his memories play out in front of him, floating around in the vacant emptiness that surrounded him.

Shane had always heard that your life will flash before your eyes when you die. He was certain that this was his time.

Then, suddenly, warmth.

Shane turned around from where he idly sat, watching his most agonizing nightmares play in front of his eyes. As he turned, he was blinded by something brighter than the sun. The blinding ray of light was eclipsed by something. As he blinked away the dizziness in his blurred vision, his eyes settled on her.

(Y/N).

The one who had made his miserable life tolerable since he lost his best friends. The one who had slowly taught him how to have fun - that it was okay to have fun. The woman who was determined to ensure that he wasn't alone anymore, who actually wanted to help him out of the miserable abyss he was trapped in.

Shane had no idea how it could be possible that (Y/N) and Victoria could look so similar, much less act nearly the same. Victoria, the woman he cared so deeply about for almost all of his life, was the most selfless and courageous person he'd ever known. (Y/N) is not only almost the spitting image of Tori, she gracefully exhibits the same compassion and warmth... Shane considered himself lucky to have a friend like her. He had never been one to believe in this kind of stuff, but she truly was his guardian angel, saving him in his darkest times.

And Shane had gone and ruined it.

How could he blame her for her reaction?

She brought up valid points. How was she to know that Shane wasn't just using her to fill the crater in his heart that Victoria left behind? It's not like Shane was ever man enough to tell her that isn't the case. Even in the face of the allegations that he had long since feared (Y/N) would come around to, he was still unable to convince himself to open up to her...to convince her otherwise.

All night, he had cursed himself for being so afraid to voice his emotions - not just to (Y/N), but to Tori, too. If he hadn't been so withdrawn, if he hadn't been so afraid of his own damned feelings, if he had taken the leap when he was younger...would Tori still be here? If he had opened up to (Y/N) about how he really felt about her, would she still have walked away?