The Ghost Of You

Chapter Twenty Five

James

Riley was gone a lot longer then I had anticipated but I think it was something she needed so I wasn't going to hound her coming back providing she did
And she did
She kept her promise and right now that is all I could ask of her

We had just finished eating dinner, I was in the kitchen cleaning up while Sienna and Riley were in the bedroom most likely trying to get her to sleep

I had this unnerving feeling that's bee smothering me since Riley got back from her walk this evening. I can't quite put my finger on what had happened or what was going on but I felt like it was something

As I walked through the flat to the bedroom, I looked into the room to see Riley stood by the window rocking Sienna in her arms while she slept. She was looking down at her and the expression on her face enough to break my heart
Her eyes were filling with tears as she looked at her
Riley needed Harrison, I'm beginning to think at this point he is the only one who can make her whole again

I want to be the person who can make this all better but I know deep down I'm not
There is no way I can fill the whole Harrison has left
The only man up to the task would be Harrison himself

"How long have you been stood there?" Riley said in a hushes whispered, I hummed in response before zoning back into the room to see Riley now stood in front of me with Sienna now asleep in her crib

"Oh uh, not long" I answered making Riley nod as she took a step past me walking out of the room without uttering another word

I don't blame her for her distance, how could I.. I can't imagine what she is going through right now. It hurting me Harrison not being here and I've only known him for a short couple of months. Riley has been by his side from the moment he was born
It was different for her
More intense

As I followed Riley into the living room she was sat on the sofa writing in her notebook again. She's been doing that since she got back but it seems to be helping with whatever she is feeling right now

"Do you think you'll ever finish that photo wall?" Riley said making me look up at the archway to see half of the photos up, I had stopped doing it once Riley left
"I think we will. After all we have to add the kids in to it now too" I smiled walking over laying on the sofa next to her

"You'll take tons of photos of them won't you? Like you used to do with me?" She questioned making me furrow my brows at her
"We both will Ri, after all you practically have the kids first years summarised in photographs" I said making her nod before looking over at the wall again

"Promise me you'll take photos?" She whispered
"Riley, what's going on?" I asked but she shook her head squeezing her eyes tightly
"Please James, I don't want to miss anything. Can you please promise me with no more questions?" She pleaded to me

"Of course, yeah. I promise Ri" I said still just as confused as I was a moment ago

—

When Riley and I went to bed last night, I couldn't help but feel like there was something I was missing. As creepy as it'll sound, I watched Riley until she fell asleep. I needed to know she was asleep before I even thought about sleeping myself again
I didn't know why but I felt like if I had fallen asleep first, something bad would have happened

The following morning, I woke up to silence. As I turned over in the anticipation of meeting Riley's sleeping body, I was met with the empty side of the bed
That alone made me come to the realisation that she probably got up with Sienna early
But that was soon shut down as a viable option the moment I stood up from the bed

Over in the corner of the room was Sienna's crib with a sleeping Sienna inside

"Riley?" I called through the flat after leaving the bedroom
This flat was big but it was also small enough she would have heard me at the first call
"Riley, this isn't funny" I said again finally making it to the living room. The entire flat was silent, there were no lights on, the balcony was shut

Riley was not here..

"Fuck, no no no no" I groaned pacing around the kitchen
Where the hell could she have gone. She left Sienna here. She's coign back then
She wouldn't leave Sienna
She wouldn't leave any of the kids, everyone knows that

I took a deep breath in trying to calm myself before I accidentally wake up Sienna, I got to the kitchen only to see the same notebook Riley had been writing in all evening open on the island
I can't read that, I shouldn't read it.. It's her private thoughts

But it's so perfectly laid out it's almost as if Riley placed it there..

As I got closer, I realised that my suspicions were correct. Riley had placed that there for me to read.. It was a letter.

'James,

I am so sorry, I didn't want to do this. I don't want to do this. If I had a choice please know that this is not what I would be choosing
I would be choosing you, I would always choose you..

Please take care of Sienna and Harrison, if I had the option to take them with me I would but the tables have turned now and they don't belong with me anymore
They need their father more..

I know that you'll love them unconditionally, I know that you'll do everything right by them even if there are times you are not convinced that you are doing the right thing
You've got this James, You are and will continue to be the best father to our kids

If your reading this then I'm gone, you'll never see me again no matter how much I will want to be around
I can't be

Harrison will be back shortly, I was given 24 hours to leave and he would be returned unharmed. This was the only way we could get our son back

You made me a promise tonight and I truly hope you keep it. I want you take photo's of everything. No matter how big, how small.. Take photos of it all
I may never get the chance to see them but in case I do, I don't want to miss a single second

I love you James, truly I do.

I'm so sorry..

Love, Riley x'

Please tell me this is some sick joke.. Please tell me she hasn't really gone..

Before I had the chance to panic, to scream, to do anything there was a frantic knock at the door sending chills through me. God I wish it was Riley but I think we both know that isn't the case..

As soon as I opened the door I fell to my knees as a small frame fell into my
"Dad" Harrison cried squeezing me close

"Harrison" I stuttered hugging him as tight as I possibly could