The Ghost Of You

Chapter Thirty Five

Riley

"Good morning" James whispered placing a soft kiss on the top of my head the moment my eyes fluttered open
As soon as we got home last night we were in our own little bubble, honestly last night felt like such a dream. One that had been long over due 
"Good morning" I smiled cuddling up to him more

"We have about 10 minutes before the kids get back, My parents don't want to overwhelm you so they'll drop the kids at the door and leave but they want to know if you'd feel up to family dinner on Saturday. The kids and I go every Saturday" James started to ramble
"Of course James, I'm not going to change any routine you and the kids have. I promise" I said making him chuckle leaning down to kiss me again
"I think we could use a little change here and there" He mumbled making me roll my eyes pushing him off of me before the sounds of multiple hands knocking on the door

"Here we go" James smiled jumping out of bed
I followed him slowly, he was already at the front door by the time I got to the end of the hallway, I stayed there for a moment. I didn't know how the kids would react to me being here in person 
I can't even begin to think about how they would be feeling, what would be going through their heads either

"Where is Mummy?" Sienna asked before her little head popped through the door followed by Harrison. 

The minute I saw their not so little faces, my heart started beating a lot faster. They took one look at me and dropped everything in their hands before charging at me 
I caught them both happily even if I did almost lose my footing a few times 

My babies weren't babies anymore..

Sienna who was one small enough to fit in the crease of my arm was now a child, she was walking, talking, she was small but confident. She looked a lot like I did at her age, her brown hair falling past her shoulders while her brown eyes hinted with some hazel lit up when she was happy 

And Harrison, my little baby boy was now bigger then I ever wanted him to get. He was a strong little man and I could tell that he would be Sienna's shoulder to cry on if she ever needed it
He had James' dark hair but my curls. He had James' nose but my smile. He was the perfect mix of the two of us 

"Please don't ever leave again Mum" Harrison cried into the crook of my neck while I squeezed the pair of them a little closer crying myself 
"I promise" I whispered before realising what I really had just promised them 

But it was true, I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to be vacant from their lives anymore. I want to be here no matter what I have to do to make sure I can stay 

--

We've spent the day completely together as a family and I couldn't have asked for anything better. Currently James and Harrison were out somewhere leaving Sienna and I alone cooking dinner 
I remember when she was a little baby she would always love being held while I cooked. It's the only reason I invested in one of those baby carriers, so I could cook and hold her at the same time

"Mummy can I ask you something?" Sienna asked as she sat on the counter watching me
"Of course you can sweetie" I smiled 
"Did we do something to make you leave?" She said making me sigh looking over at her 
Sienna was three years old and this sort of thing was not something that I want her to ever have to think about. I didn't want her to worry about things like her Uncle's vendetta against me 

But I refuse for her to think she played any part in my leaving 

"No baby, you didn't" I said kissing the top of her head
"I had to leave to do something, that is all. I should have called but I wasn't allowed to" I said making Sienna nod 
"Did you finish what you had to do?" She asked making me nod
"I did" I answered
"So you truly won't be going anywhere again? I don't like it when you aren't here" She whispered fiddling with her fingers, just like I do

"I'm right here baby and I'm not going anywhere anymore" I whispered taking a hold of her hands making her smile widely 

"I love you mummy" She whispered leaning into my arms slightly
"I love you too Sienna" I whispered back 

By the time the boys got back, dinner was ready and for the first time in years, I had company while I ate. It was a proper family dinner, one I think I'll always remember
We talked, we listened and in Sienna and Harrison's eyes, they argued about how badly Harrison smelt sometimes 

"Daddy are we camping out tonight?" Sienna asked as James finished drying the final dish
"Sure things princess" he smiled ruffling her hair as he joined us in the living room
"what does camping out intel?" I asked
"Do you remember what we did with the gang when we had that power cut?" James asked making me chuckle with a nod

"It's that but with pillows, blankets, good snacks and films" James said
"And twinkle lights daddy!" Sienna protested
"And twinkle lights princess" He chuckled picking up and throwing her over his shoulder as they made their way down the corridor probably in search of all the items we needed 

I glanced over at Harrison who had been rather quiet over the last hour or so, which from what I've heard isn't a good thing. 
The one thing I never the children to get from me was my nervous tendencies and it would appear they both have them one way or another 
Sienna with fiddling with her fingers and Harrison with shutting himself off from the world

"Hey baby, why don't we go onto the balcony?" I said offering him my hand, he looked at me hesitantly before nodding taking my head guiding me out to the room
I looked back to see James re-joining the room only to nod in our direction and offering me a small smile as Harrison and I disappeared onto the balcony 

"Talk to me sweetheart" I whispered but before he could say a word Harrison crashed into my chest sobbing, my arms wrapped around his tightly trying to soothe him 

"I needed you Mum, when I got home you were the only person I wanted and you weren't here" He cried breaking my heart
"I'm sorry for whatever I did but you didn't need to leave I promise. I didn't mean it" He continued to cry

"Harrison, baby it wasn't you" I said holding his tighter
"Was it Dad's uncle? I heard what he said to you on the phone" He said and I nodded
"None of this was your fault okay? It's a bigger problem even I can't fix but under no circumstances was it you" I whispered kissing the top of his head

"It felt like it was, Dad kept telling me it wasn't and that you would come home but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I didn't get to say goodbye to you. I remember hearing you scream as that man took me but there was nothing I could do. I couldn't get away from him, I couldn't scream back" He cried 
"Hey hey, you did everything you could. I know you did. You're my strong little man remember?" I asked thinking back to when I used to say that growing up

"This is a little bigger then flushing the spiders down the toilet mum" He giggled making me smile
"that's how it started baby but it's certainly bigger now" I smiled

"Thankyou for looking after you dad and your little sister while I wasn't here" I said watching as Harrison smiled proudly 
"someone had to make sure Dad didn't truly lose himself when Sienna has him wrapped around his little finger" he giggled making both of us look back into the living room to see James already sneaking Sienna a cookie from the jar 

"I've missed you Mum" Harrison said looking up at me while I stroked his cheek lightly
"I've missed you more monkey" I smiled 

This is where I need to be..