Christopher falls in love with canned corn

"A corn cake! You know, like a cake, just put corn in it!"

image found on youtube

The monochrome thief-twizzler continued on his walk in the park after throwing his empty can away. He took a few steps before realizing he saw something familiar in the trash bin. He walked back to look inside, adjusting the can he'd just threw in.

The familiar thing he saw was a slice of cake.
Nothing was wrong with this cake, at all. It looked mostly intact. It was a chocolate cake with tiny creme drips around the edge; there was some icing in the center of the cake. Christopher pulled the slice of cake out and decided to inspect it more.

He noticed it looked like a slice of the cake that was in the display window at Cakey's bakery. Christopher rolled his eyes and kept walking, still holding the slice of cake.

He sniffed it; the cake hadn't been in the trash for long, it possibly had just been discarded. The twizzler took a small bite of the cake and noticed immediately; it was far too sweet.

He could barely taste the chocolate when he took the first bite. All he could taste was sweet.

Christopher -for once in his life- decided not to base his opinion of the cake on the first bite. He took another bite of the cake.

This time he could somewhat taste the chocolate in the dessert. "Hmm. Would it be wrong if I told Cakey how this tastes? It shouldn't really matter, Cakey'll just make a better cake and move on. Maybe a corn cake. Heh..."

Christopher chuckled to himself, turning back around towards Cakey's Bakery.

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Slurpee was walking through the park, humming to herself. She'd just got that beautiful chocolate cake that had been sitting in the display window for a week. It looked so delicious, but the taste stated otherwise.

It tasted sickeningly sweet with the first bite. Slurpee didn't enjoy it at all and threw it away, not bothering to taste it again. She knew that no matter how many bites she took, the taste wouldn't get better. But she wasn't about to complain, of course. There was no way for Cakey to know that Slurpee threw away the cake that the baker had been working so hard on for the past few months. Of course not...

Christopher opened the door to the bakery. The bell attached to the door rung. Cakey was in the kitchen in the back of the bakery. "Hello! I'll be right there!" There was another person in the bakery, sitting down at a table in the corner. 

The person appeared to be a woman, with medium-length blonde hair and a green dress with white polka dots on the skirt. Chris tapped her on the shoulder. The woman turned to look at him, her makeup smeared with tears. It was quite obvious she'd been crying. "O-oh! Hello." 

 "Can I sit here?" Christopher asked, motioning to the other seat in front of the woman. "Sure." She said. "I'm Nancy, by the way. What's your name?" Christopher sat down in the chair, setting the quarter-eaten cake on the table. "My name's Christopher, but you can call me Chris. Why exactly are you crying, Miss Nancy?"

Nancy sighed. "Well, my husband's been acting strange around me lately." Christopher decided to help this woman with her problems. He felt that he might get something out of it if he did. "Hm. What's your husband's name? I might've met him before." Nancy put her hand to her mouth, thinking. "Well, his name is Henry. Henry Elsner." That got Christopher thinking as well. He was pretty sure he'd heard that name before. "Henry Elsner... hm. The owner of that newspaper?" "Yes!" Nancy exclaimed suddenly. "Yes, I have heard of him before. He came over to my house and featured me in a column! Not sure why." 

"Well, he's been.. hiding from me in a way. I'm not quite sure how to feel about it..." 

"Well, I'm not quite sure how I'm supposed to help you." 

"Oh! You want to help me?" Nancy asked, surprised. 

"Of course. But I'm not quite sure how." Christopher sighed. 

"Ok, I'm here now!" A familiar voice called out. Christopher looked in the direction of said voice. Cakey had come out from the kitchen. "Oh, Christopher? What brings you by again so soon?"

The monochrome twizzler jumped out of his chair and walked over to the counter. "Uh,  someone gave me this piece of cake and they didn't like it. I tried it and uh- Are you alright if I tell you how you could improve, what went wrong, etc?" Cakey seemed deflated and disappointed for a split second, then maintained her normal cheerful expression. "Sure!"

"Alright, well... It's far too sweet, you can barely taste the chocolate, the cake is absolutely creamy, it may as well be entirely cream. And that's just in the first bite. When you take a second bite, you can taste the chocolate a little more, but then that makes you wish you'd enjoyed the straight sugar of the first bite, because the chocolate is too chocolatey, which is kind of strange, since this is supposed to be a chocolate cake, but there's a first for everything, I guess." 

Chris droned on, and Cakey appeared to get sadder and hurt with each word he said. "Maybe you could make a corn cake!" The monochromatic man suggested. "What?" Cakey asked, surprised. "A corn cake! You know, like a cake, just put corn in it!" Cakey stared at Chris like he was crazy. "I'm not sure that would work in a cake. And even if it did, you'd be the only person who'd buy any."

"Well, yeah, but then I'd have an actual reason to keep coming over to the bakery, hmm?" Christopher reasoned. "I'll... think about it, okay?"

Cakey stared at Chris as if she was expecting something from him. "Oh! The cake! Yeah, you can have it back. Throw it away or whatever. You should probably throw the whole thing out." He set the slice of 'cake' on the counter, then turned around to talk to Nancy. 

"So you were saying about your husband?"