When it Rains, it Hurts

6

Pinagmamasdan ko sina Qams at Ethan habang nagdi-dinner kami. Hindi naman nababanggit sa amin ni Qams na may jowa siya. Si Ethan pala 'yung boss na sinasabi niya. Pero boss lang ba talaga? Duda talaga ako. Iba ang mga tinginan nila sa isa't isa. Imposibleng walang namamagitan sa kanila.

Inaya ko silang mag-movie pagkatapos ng dinner. Pasimple kong pinagmamasdan ang dalawa. Nahuli ko pa ang mga paghalik ni Ethan sa sentido ni Qamari. Tama nga ako, hindi lang siya bastang boss. Tama rin ako nang isipin kong hindi inosente si Qamari.

When the morning came, nagpaalam kaagad kami sa dalawa. Sinuot ko ang helmet ko bago sumampa sa motor. Nilingon ko si Edward na inaayos ang backpack namin. Siya ang may suot n'on dahil angkas siya. Nang makaupo na si Edward sa likurang bahagi, pinulupot niya ang kaniyang mga braso sa aking beywang.

"Ano bang meron sa pupuntahan natin?" tanong ko bago tuluyang paandarin ang motor. "Sabihan mo 'ko kapag masyadong mabilis ang pagpapatakbo ko."

"You'll find out once we get there."

I was standing in the middle of a hill, trying to figure out what we're doing. Bakit ba kami nandito? EJ offered his hand to me. I accepted it and started walking with him.

I didn't ask where we were headed to. I just knew that I won't get lost when I have EJ by my side. The trees were dancing as the wind brushes through them. The sun was bright but not enough to burn our skin. I took out my phone from the pocket of my cargo pants. I used an old film and polaroid app to capture the nature and the one who makes the entirety of the view brighter.

Naibaba ko ang phone ko nang mapansin ko ang pagtigil ni EJ. Nasa tuktok na kami... Malamig ang hangin sa itaas. Mula sa kinakatayuan namin ay kita ko ang mga burol. Naagaw agad ang atensyon ko nang maglakad si EJ. Doon ko lang napansin ang malaking imahe ni Padre Pio. Yari ito sa tingin ko'y semento.

"Padre Pio... Madalas ka ba rito, EJ?" Nilingon ako ni Edward at ngumiti siya sa 'kin. Iyon na 'ata ang pinakamagandang ngiti niya na nasilayan ko.

"Yes... I come here often, in hopes of finding an explanation for my suffering, finding a solution, and finding a healing place. Just standing here makes me feel closer to Him. Praying and talking to Him makes me feel better. I don't know if you'll understand, but it makes me feel secure. I wouldn't have to worry about the next hours. It was hard to believe in Him at first because I couldn't see His doings... I couldn't see His answers to my prayers. Not until one day, while I was asking for Padre Pio's help to deliver my prayers to Him, I got a call." EJ intertwined our fingers while he was holding my hand.

"What was the call all about?" I carefully asked. "Was that call the answer?"

"My dad called me, telling me to come over. I went to their house, I got bruises and scratches. It wasn't new to me anymore. After that, I left the house as if nothing happened. And the same day, I met a nursing student. She was nosy and persistent. Little did I know, she was the answer to my prayers. I started to believe that all the bruises and scratches were a challenge for me before I get to hold the prize." EJ tucked the strands of my hair that got blown off by the wind behind my ears. Slowly, he put his arms around me. I caressed his back and rested my chin on his shoulder. "You're my healing place, Sage."

"I'll be here for you whether you need me or not. From now on, I'll be with you when you pray to Him. I'll be with you when you seek for answers. I'll be with you in finding solutions. Each problem of yours shall be mine too."

"Can I make a promise?" he asked when he withdrew from the hug. I nodded. "I won't get married. If it's not with you, then I won't. I'm not caging you. You have the right and the freedom to choose whoever you want to be with. But for me, I'll stick with my only choice, and that is you."

"Sige nga, paano kung ma-in love ka? Kawawa naman 'yung babae kung gano'n. Mahal mo nga pero ayaw mo naman pakasalan dahil nangako ka sa best friend mo. I shouldn't be one of your options, EJ. Best friend mo ako, hindi ako pang-girlfriend o asawa."

"Fine, hindi na ako mangangako. Are you happy now?" Napangiti ako at umiwas ng tingin.

"EJ, magdasal na tayo. Mukhang uulan, naka-motor pa naman tayo."

After some time, we both decided to go down the hill. Magkahawak-kamay kaming naglakad. Napatili ako nang bumuhos ang ulan. Imbis na mataranta ay pinapanood lamang ako ni EJ. Ang mga labi niya'y bumuo ng isang ngiti. Kahit na basang-basa na kaming dalawa, nagawa pa rin naming ngumiti.

"Ano 'yung prayer mo?" tanong niya sa 'kin.

"Nagdasal ako na magkaanak tayo." Natawa ako nang makita ang gulat na reaksyon ni Edward. "Syempre joke lang. Paghilom... Iyon ang laman ng dasal ko. Ikaw? Ano laman ng prayer mo?"

"Syempre ikaw, tayo." Nagpatuloy kami sa paglalakad, hindi alintana ang malakas na ulan.

Sabi nila kapag umuulan daw, masasaktan ka. Kung gano'n ang pag-ibig, hindi ba pag-ibig 'tong nararamdaman namin?

Nag-check in kami sa pinakamalapit na hotel. Mahirap magmaneho dahil madulas ang daan. Basang-basa rin ang mga damit namin. Nagpaunahan pa kami ni EJ sa pagpasok sa banyo. Halata naman na hinayaan niya 'kong mauna. Nang mahubad ko na ang mga damit ko ay isa-isa kong piniga ang mga ito.

Sinuot ko ang isang roba nang matapos sa shower. Paglabas ko ng banyo ay nakita ko si EJ na may kausap sa phone. Hinanap ng mga mata ko ang kaniyang mga damit na ngayon ay nakasampay na pala. Ang tuyong roba ang nagsilbing panakip niya sa aking katawan. Sinampay ko ang mga damit ko bago naisipang lumapit kay Edward.

His eyes were diverted to me when I stopped in front of him. He held the phone away from his ear before holding my jaw to kiss me. After a few moments, he let go of my lips to talk to the person on the other line. I hugged his waist and started kissing his jaw and neck. 

"I cannot join you guys today. Wala ako sa apartment. Nasa hotel ako, sa Bulacan." EJ placed his other hand on the back of my head. "Sage, not too hard..."

"S-sorry.." He kissed the top of my head.

"You heard what? Ah fuck, it's no longer a secret. Just tell them my situation, they'll understand. Bye." EJ stopped me by holding my nape and attacking my lips with rough kisses. "If I had known that I'll be addicted to you this much, I would've kissed you the day you treated my wounds."

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