☆
Fuse : We call it maccas not "macdonald's" in salvo
Wattson : Where's donald?
☆
Rampart : What's important is that we made great memories
Mirage : You almost punched me in the throat that day
Rampart : That's my fondest memory
☆
Catalyst : Honestly Vantage, you're a genius
Vantage : Thanks I get that alot
Catalyst : What? Genius?
Vantage : No, Vantage
☆
Loba : You're late.
Valkyrie : You're gorgeous
Loba : You're forgiven
☆
Murderer : Any last words?
Mirage : Do you think I'm cute? Be honest.
☆
Valkyrie : Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Catalyst : You did WHAT-
Octane : William Snakepeare
☆
Mirage : Don't worry, I got a plan.
Lifeline : Alright.
Mirage : TraitorSayWhat?
Loba : Excuse me?
Mirage : What?
Lifeline :
Mirage :
Mirage : No wait-
☆
Octane : I need 28 lightbulbs for 28 ducks.
Crypto : Ducks can't eat lightbulbs?
Wraith : I think that's the point.
Octane : Exactly. I want my ducks to glow so I can find them.
☆
*Legends when they drop food on the floor*
Newcastle : Aw man. *Throws it away*
Vantage : Five second rule!
Octane : Foolish germs, thinking they can stop me!? *Eats it off the floor*
Valkyrie : *Sobs on the floor*
☆
Horizon : You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?
Seer : Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Horizon : That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.
Seer : But I heard a siren?
Lifeline : That was Wattson.
Wattson : Sorry, I got nervous..
☆
Mad Maggie : Who the fuck broke the toaster?
Pathfinder : It was Valkyrie.
Fuse : Valk did it.
Bloodhound : Valkyrie broke it.
Valkyrie :
Valkyrie : ...yOU PROMISED-
☆
Seer : Guess what number I'm thinking of.
Vantage : 420?
Seer : No, that's really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.
Wraith : 69.
Seer : Yeah it was 69.
☆
Rampart : Aww, what's your dog's name?
Caustic : Spartacus.
Rampart, yelling to Valkyrie : TRY SPARTACUS!
Valkyrie, on the computer : DIDN'T WORK!
Caustic :
Rampart : What's your favorite number?
☆
Loba : Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff
Mirage : YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!
☆
Gibraltar : Nice rock.
Fuse : Thanks, Ajay gave it to me.
Lifeline : I threw it at you!
Fuse : Aren't they the sweetest?
☆
Mirage : My stomach growled super loud in French.
Mirage : I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak French. It growled during French class.
Octane : Bonjour
Rampart : Le growl
Valkyrie : Hon hon hon, feed me baguette
☆
Vantage : If i punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?
Seer : Weak.
Bloodhound : Strong.
Caustic : an Idiot, is what you are.
☆
Fuse : You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.
Horizon : Those are wanted posters!
☆
Lifeline : I hate you sometimes.
Octane : Well according to this picture Wattson drew of us holding hands, that's not true.
Lifeline : Silva, you drew that.
Octane : It doesn't matter.
☆
Rampart : Are pigeons drones?
Mirage : What? No, I'm trying to sleep.
Rampart : Think about it. How come you've never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they're DRONES!
Mirage : *Crying* Please let me sleep...
☆
word count : 491
YOU ARE READING
(in)correct apex legends
HumorCOVER ART BY @t0astedrats on twt lifeline mains wya (also love for my catalyst, & rampart mains out there mwah) DISCLAIMER ‼️ ↳ ships are included (personally, i don't ship, but i find some duos funnier than others) ↳ incorrect grammar ↳ swearing an...
