(in)correct apex legends

★ 8

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Fuse : When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.
Wattson : You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

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Mirage : Why cant trees give off something important like wifi??
Crypto : So fuck oxygen, I guess.

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Vantage : What do I get?
Fuse : A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.
Vantage : Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.
Fuse : It won't be you.
Vantage : I'll get my coat.

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Mirage, to Wraith : Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up!
Wraith : *proceeds to kick them in the shin and run away*
Gibraltar, walking past : Rule number 1, don't call Renee cute or small.

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Valkyrie : Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

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Lifeline : Last week, Conduit tried to flush a live lobster down the toilet "because it worked for Nemo".

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Horizon : *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk.
Horizon : *cuts piece of cake*
Newcastle : ...Can I have some?
Horizon : Cake is for talkers.

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Crypto : Last night I found out Wattson is a sleep talker.
Mirage : Oh, really?
Crypto : "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." Right. In. My. Ear. At 3am.

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Seer : Why don't you go talk to them?
Octane, sarcastically: Oh. Yeah, sure.
Seer : What? So you go tell them they're cute, what's the worst that could happen?
Octane : They could hear me.

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Pathfinder : Hey besties-
Revenant : Die.
Pathfinder : What did I do to you-

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*While the Squad is in a battle*
Lifeline, trying to warn about the location of an enemy : To the left!
Mirage : Take it back now y'all!

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Ash : And I'd love to be sorry for that, but we all know I've done much, much worse.

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Loba : Go to hell!
Revenant : Where do you think I come from?

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Catalyst : How did none of you hear what I just said?!
Wattson : I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Vantage : I got distracted halfway through.
Caustic : Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

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Ash : You're alive.
Horizon : No need to sound so disappointed.

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Lifeline : Silva, get that hidious thing out of the living room, would you?
Octane : Fuse, Ajay wants you to get out of the house.

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Conduit : Why are you late?
Crypto : A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness.
Conduit : Overslept?
Crypto : Overslept.

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Computer : Please enter a password.
Mirage : *types in Wraith*
Computer : Your password is too weak.
Mirage : How fucking DARE YOU-

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*Seer and Rampart are in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff*
Seer : oh my god, Ramya, backwards!
Rampart : Really, Obi? I thought I might go forwards into the river, I thought that would be a fun thing to do.

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Conduit : We're going to a candy store?!
Bloodhound : No! It's nighttime, candy stores are closed.
Conduit : We're gonna ROB a candy store?!?!
Bloodhound, sighing : No-

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496 word count | PS, i apologize if there's some repeating quotes as previous chapters,, i haven't updated — let alone read — this book in a long while :P soz!