✩
Vantage : Is this gaslighting? Am I being gaslit?
Bloodhound : If I were gaslighting you, you'd never know it.
Vantage : Is THAT gaslighting?
Bloodhound : Shut up.
✩
Lifeline, at Octane's funeral : I need a moment with them.
Everyone : Of course. *They leave*
Lifeline, leaning over Octane′s coffin : Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you're not dead.
Octane : Yeah, no shit.
✩
Wattson : Guys! I found a 100 dollar bill!
Wattson : *looks around* ....Should I keep it?
Horizon : Natalie, just do the right thing.
Rampart : And put in your bag.
Horizon : No—
✩
Ash : I know what you're up to.
Fuse : Really? Because I barely know.
✩
Octane, playing a video game : This game is so frustrating! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!
Newcastle : Ok, I think it's time to turn off the game for a little while.
Octane : But I'm having fun!
✩
Ballistic : Why won't you all just lie down and die with dignity?!
Valkyrie : We don't do anything with dignity!
✩
Lifeline : Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Wraith?
Wraith : No.
Mirage : I do!
Lifeline : I know, Elliott.
Mirage : I'm sad.
Lifeline : I know, Elliott.
✩
Gibraltar, holding an unconscious Octane : Oh no. Please don't be dead.
✩
Conduit : I feel like doing something stupid.
Valkyrie : I'm stupid, do me.
✩
Horizon : How are you today?
Crypto : Please don't make me think about my life.
✩
*Squad reactions to being told 'I love you'*
Gibraltar : Thanks fam!
Catalyst : Oh no.
Mirage : *cries* I love you too.
Valkyrie : Sounds fake, but okay.
Wattson : *A flustered mess*
Ash : Can I get a refund?
✩
Seer : Come, Octane. Wattson doesn't want to talk to us right now. They're just too polite to say it.
✩
Vantage, to Mirage : How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?
✩
Catalyst : Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined.
Rampart : Heck.
Catalyst : You're on thin fucking ice.
Catalyst : Oh no-
✩
Conduit : You got a date yet Kairi?
Valkyrie : No...
Conduit : Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!
✩
Loba : Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Valkyrie!
Valkyrie : You can't expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.
✩
Wattson : Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world.
Caustic : Unless you're home alone.
✩
Mirage : Thank you for not saying "I told you so."
Crypto : When you're as right as I am, you don't have to say it.
✩
Lifeline : What's the worst thing you guys have done?
Conduit : Rickrolled my teacher in 4th grade.
Mirage : I kicked Ramya in the shin-
Rampart : -So I kicked Witt between the legs.
Fuse : I burned a town down.
Lifeline : What?!
Mirage : What the hell is wrong with you?!?
Fuse : A lot of things.
Rampart : No shit.
✩
Newcastle : Is... Is that meant to be on fire?
Octane : No... not really.
Newcastle : Are you going to do something about it?
Octane : Hm... nah.
✩
505 word count.
YOU ARE READING
(in)correct apex legends
HumorCOVER ART BY @t0astedrats on twt lifeline mains wya (also love for my catalyst, & rampart mains out there mwah) DISCLAIMER ‼️ ↳ ships are included (personally, i don't ship, but i find some duos funnier than others) ↳ incorrect grammar ↳ swearing an...
