Into your veins

Remembering Dom.

A/N- It's going to be long and emotional. Grab the tissues and share with me.
******
And from the moment we laid eyes on each other. I fell in love with you. God damn it, I couldn't even open my eyes the moment I fell in love with you. We were just born. We were already in love.

We were 7 months old. I took your hand as I took my first step.

We were 10 months old. I laughed as I splashed the bath water at you as I said my first word.
"Dad."

We were 7 years old. I laughed and ran down the street as I looked back at your smiling lips. They smiled Dom, you fucking smiled. Urgh! You smiled. Your smile. I love it.

We were 10 years old. I skipped out the school and waited for you at the sand pit until I heard you scream my name. I ran around the back of the bathrooms and saw 5 boys around you. Kicking you. You were screaming for help. One boy grabbed me but I broke free and ran away.
And I hate myself for leaving you Dom. I hate myself.

We were 12. You got dared to kiss a boy. You told me after that you liked that boy. Alex. But all I remember of Alex was when he grabbed me from behind while he commanded his friends to kick you.

We were nearly 13. The bullying hadn't stopped. I went to see you one day. Your mum smiled at me sweetly as I walked in. Your house was mine. My house still is yours. I jumped up the steps. Going to walk in your bedroom, I hit the door not realising you even had a lock on your door. I pushed the middle plank of wood of your door and tried push the door open. I stepped back.
"Dom!" I called. In return, I heard a smash. Glass breaking. Slamming the middle plank with open palms, it snapped and fell into your room. I reached threw and found the lock. Opening your door, I saw it. Your curled up body on your bed. Blood everywhere. Bursting out in tears, I ran to you. Blood staining my hands as I tried to stop the rushing blood. I went to call for help but I couldn't open my mouth. Tears flew from my eyes, blood flew from your arm.
"Natalie." I tried to call but I couldn't speak. I touched your face, but pulled away and screamed looking at my hand. The blood Dom. God damn it the fucking blood. Your mum ran in and screamed running to the phone. You were crying. You touched my face, I felt the blood on the cheek from your hand.
"Dominik.." I whispered looking at your blood arm. "Dom." I looked up and your tear stained face. "I. I really love you. You're my one and only. Stay with me."
But you shook your head.
"Dom." I cried heavier and whispered. "god dammit Dominik.. Stay with me. I love you. I need you."
You shook your head.
"Dominik!!" I screamed. Your mum came back in.
"Stay with me!!" I shouted at you. Your mum tried pulled me away but I wouldn't let go. You lowered your head and shook it. Pulling my fingers off from around your arm. I was slipping. Letting go.
"Dominik!" I screamed. Your dad came in. Tears in his eyes. He went to help you, but. But your mum pushed me into him and he dragged me out.
"DOMINIK!" I screamed.
I saw you a few days later in the hospital.
You wouldn't look at me.
I grabbed your hand. "Dominik." I whispered. You didn't look at me. "Dom." I shook your hand. You gave me a side glance.
"The kids at school.." You started.
"Dominik." I say.
"No, shut up!" You snapped. I jumped back. "The kids at school." You calmed down "they. They told me that I was a freak. I gave Alex a flower today. He's so beautiful. I love him." You then looked at me. "But, I know what you said in my room wasn't real. It wasn't. You don't love me. No girls can love me. They're not allowed to." You shook your head.
"Well, who cares if I'm not allowed to? I'm gonna love you anyway Dom, because I'm a rebel and I do what I want!" I stood up quickly. "I love you Dom. Now, I'm hungry, want anything?" I asked. You shook your head. I nodded
"Ok, I'll be back in a minute."

I came back. You looked at me. Tears in your eyes.
"You- you love me?" He asked. I nodded, but I never left the door frame.
"You really do?"
I nodded again.
"Dom, there's no one that I love more." I walked to your bed side. "Your hair is soft like silk and black like the sky, your eyes are gorgeous green boulders that hypnotise me, your lips. Holy hell Dom. I want to kiss them. But as much as I love you, you can never love me. Because boys can't love me." I say and you give me a puzzled look. "I won't let any other boy but you love me Dom. But you don't want to love me, therefore no one can love me. No one can have me." I say. You smile. I haven't seen that smile in a while. I love it. "Smile for me again." I smile. You did.
"I I love your words. You have a way with them that makes me want to stay." You say.
"Then stay." I say.
You shook your head and I looked at the ground sitting in the chair.
"Then I don't wanna stay either." I mutter.
"But- but you have to." You stare at me intensely.
"If you can leave. So can I."
"Harmony?"
"Yes?" I look up.
"I. I like you." You say looking away from me.
"I like you too." I smile.
"You're my best friend."
"You're my only friend."
There was a silence. A nice silence.

A few months later I had to move state. I miss you.

The day I left.
You.
You.
Overdosed.
And.
I.
Fucking.
Wasn't.
There.
To.
Save.
You.
And.
I.
Want.
To.
Kill.
Myself.
For.
That.

But I will never love anyone like I love you, Dom.
And no boy.
No boy will ever be allowed to love me.
If one claims they love me and I have some feelings for him.
I will ask them constantly if they love me.
Because I'm scared Dom.
I'm scared that they don't love me.
I have to ask them to stay Dom.
Because I'm scared.
I'm scared they will leave me.
Leave me.
Like.
You.
Did.