Daughter of Hades Raised by The Bad Guys

15 years later

"Stop!" Snake demanded.

"It'll stop if you just explain it to me." Wolf pushed.

"Will you please just drop it?" Snake snapped.

"Alright alright fine consider it dropped, it's dropped it's on the ground." Wolf said as he grabbed his cup of coffee. The two best friends were currently at one of their favorite dinners. "But I mean come on, everybody loves birthdays! You got decorations, you got balloons, you got parties and cake."

"Look I don't need presents, I don't want decorations and I'm not a cake guy."

"Seriously, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake."

"Guinea pig."

"Oh again with the guinea pig? I bet if I blindfolded you you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig."

"Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds, I can taste air." Snake then used his long tongue to 'taste' the air. "Mmm, nice."

"I don't know, they're a little cute for my taste."

"That's what makes them so delicious. You're not just eating food, you're eating pure goodness. It's not about the pig, it's what it symbolizes on a deeper level."

"So you can taste air? What else you got? Can you also hear color? Can you see sound? Cause we should really be capitalizing ok."

"Alright, get it out, get it all out now." Snake then spit out an alarm clock. "Look at that, 4:00pm. Now I know the exact moment our friendship died."

Wolf just laughed. "Lets bounce."

"Yep." Snake agreed before swallowing his clock whole again.

"Tastes like you're gonna stick me with the bill... Again."

"Well it is my birthday."

"So now you play the birthday card? That's interesting." Wolf said as he went up to the counter. "Can we get a check please when you get a chance? Hello? Checkadee check check. You know what, we're just gonna leave the money right here. Ok." Wolf puts down some money on the counter and the tip jar.

"You know one good thing about this place, we never have to wait for a table."

"Isn't that every place?" Wolf asked.

Snake then spotted a few cowering humans. "Hey man how you been? I haven't seen you in SNAKE ATTACK!!" Snake jumped high freaking the humans out. "Oh mints." Snake then swallowed the whole bowl of candy.

"Sorry folks, I'm switching him to decaf."

"Lets do this." The two best friends said in unison as they casually crossed the street to the bank while everyone is screaming at them and running away.

"Guinea pig huh?" Wolf asks.

"It's the rolls royce of rodents." Snake defended.

"Yeah but it's still a rodent, you know what I mean." Wolf told him before opening the door to the bank. "Don't mind us, just robbing this place." Wolf and Snake grab all the loot the two can carry including a whole safe before running into Wolf's car and speeding off.

"Go bad." Wolf held out his fist.

"Or go home." Snake finished before bumping his head against Wolf's fist.

Wolf then looks out the window. "Hey you, get over here. Little closer. Oh I know what it is. You're afraid because I'm the big bad wolf. Well I'm not surprise, I am the villain in every story. Ain't that right Mr. Snake?"

"Yep." Snake chuckled.

"Say hello to Mr. Snake." Wolf introduced. "Serpentine safe cracking machine, imagine Houdni but with no arms. Kinda guy that will tell you the glass is half empty then steal it from you. He's also my best buddy, today is his birthday!"

"Not relevant." Snake glared.

"He's a sweetheart, you're a sweetheart." Wolf said as he hugged his friend.

The tender moment didn't last long because soon police were right on their trail.

"Well look who's here." Snake grinned.

"Took them long enough." Wolf started to speed to some traffic lights. "Watch this... Three, two one."

All the lights turned green for Wolf to speed through. "And over here is Miss Tarantula. Our in house pocket search engine, our traveling tech wizard. We call her Webs.

Webs grabs her laptop and jumps into the car making all the lights turn red slowing down the police.

"Very slick Webs." Wolf complemented her.

"I also took over the police dispatch, blurred their satellite imaging, grounded their chopper and one more thing."

"You didn't." Snake glared at her only for a delivery man to ride up to them with a cake. Luckily Wolf grabbed it in time before the delivery man freaked out.

"Happy birthday Mr. Grumpypants." Webs grinned.

"I think I hate you." Snake told her.

Wolf then drove into a construction site and Mr. Shark dressed as a construction worker tricked the real construction workers to block the polices path before jumping in the car. "Guys it's me. I was the construction worker!"

"And this is Mr. Shark. Master of disguise. Apex predator of a thousand faces. His greatest trick stealing the Mona Lisa disguised AS the Mona Lisa. Dig that."

"Watch it Big Tuna." Snake mumbled as Shark pushed the seat forward crushing him into the save.

"Keep it cool baby." Shark said using a mellow voice as he put a party hat onto Snakes head. "Birthdays should be chill."

In one of the police cars nearby Piranha jumped out of the glove box. "SURPRISE!!"

"Mr. Piranha, he's a loose cannon with a short fuse willing to scrap with anyone or anything. He's brave, he's fearless, who am I kidding he's crazy."

Piranha jumped in the car shouting happily in his native tongue.

"Piranha. Did we forget something?" Webs asked him.

"What?" Piranha asked.

"The present." Shark reminded him. "You know, for the thing."

"Oh." Piranha widened his eyes. "Of course I didn't.."

"Luckily one of us REALLY didn't forget." Harmony appeared in the backseat next to Shark holding a present.

"Harmony!" Snake scold. "You're suppose to be my favorite!"

"Don't worry father, I made sure it was something you really wanted." Harmony assured him. "And I know better than to say the HB words." With a snap of her fingers the police cars tires all deflated.

Wolf grinned. "Last but not least is the youngest member of the crew Harmony. Our unpredictable wild card who makes crime so easy because of her many powers, she's the most powerful force we've ever seen, she's clever, she's indestructible and since we raised her for about sixteen years now. She's ours."