Easy to Regret, Harder to Forget

Chapter 23

~friendship is one mind in two bodies~

"I won't tell mum," I say to my dad. He is drunk now and can hardly walk. "But." I glare at my own father. "I will not keep her in the dark, not like all the other times. You have hidden a shit load of fucking secrets from her and if you keep going, you won't have anyone."
"I'm such a horrible father. And husband." He looks inside, my mum is laughing with Sorrel and Rose. "I deserved to be on that island. You should've left me."
"Dad!" I say closing my eyes and clenching my teeth. "You don't. But how could you not know that Nita had a child? I always thought Amour looked like Nita and that her and I looked a like."
"She doesn't want me as her father. Was she the one who used to bully you?"
"Yeah, but I am trying to change things. She knows, dad, she knows you are her father. She knows who my mum is. She can easily just tell her. And everything you have could be taken away in a click."
"Does Edmund know?" My dad glances at Edmund now.
"No. Only you, Amour and I know. And it will stay that way." I sigh leaning on the fence.
"You know what? My life is shit. And I am tired." He stomps off in the house and up the stairs. Edmund comes over.
"What happen with dad?" He sounds worried. I shake my head.
"Nothing," I blink away tears. "Just go have fun." Edmund hesitated before nodding and going back inside. My whole life is messed up. My mums life is and so is my dads. But Edmunds life is together. He doesn't know anything and I think it's better that way. My mum, she is in the dark about most of this. Myself, I am in the middle of it all. I don't know how I turned out to have this life. My mum had a good school life, so she tells me. And I had a shit one, oh and look at me now. Still a shit life. I don't have the boy I want, I have a sister that used to bully me during my schooling life, my life is a thousand piece puzzle that isn't solved. But it will be. Soon enough. Why do bad things always happen to good people. Oliver is only 12, and he still has his whole life ahead of him. He has a life to start, to get married, have kids and have a great life. I don't. James is the one thing I want. But no, I can't even get him.
"Emma," I hear a voice. I snap out of my thoughts and look to see James.
"Sorry," I murmur awkwardly.
"You okay?" He asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine," I lie, putting a plaster smile on.
"How about, we go up to the music room and I will play you a song on the piano?" He offers obviously because he knows I am not okay. when we dated, he used to play piano and I played the Clarinet or violin.
"Sure," I smile for real this time.