Easy to Regret, Harder to Forget

Chapter 28

~it's hard to tell my mind to stop loving you when my heart still does~

My room is painted a faint green colour, my bed still where it was. My bookshelf running along one whole wall, displaying all my books and CDs. Basically my room is the same, but everything had to be moved to paint the room. Above my bed is my photo wall, pictures covering almost the whole entire wall. James insisted on choosing where they went. And he put the picture of him and I kissing in the sea, right in the middle. The guest room is painted a faint blue and the bed is in the middle of the room, with a couple drawers and a desk. The lounge room was easy since most of the things where there, we just rearranged it. It is now 2:38am and James's drunkness has slightly gone up, and so has mine.
"You can sleep in your old room if you want?" I offer him as he opens the back door and goes outside, standing near the pool house. That is the place he and I used to sleep if we wanted to see the beach and pool.
"I don't want to sleep," he smiles as he sways slightly.
"Neither," I laugh standing next to him. A cool breeze rushes across us but it wasn't cold, it was cool. And soothing.
"I remember on your 18th," James goes into memory mode. "That we had a party here, you insisted on sleeping in the pool house. And we were thrown into the pool. It was fucking cold. Edmund wanted Lucie to jump in with him but she wouldn't, so Gab pushed them in."
I smile at the memory, "I was so drunk! We were dating and I wanted time alone with you."
He laughs, "Lucie and Edmund didn't want to be together because we were."
"They could've been together," I say, his eyes twinkled in the moonlight.
"God," he slumps a little. "I miss those times."
"Same," I say.
"We could relive them..." James hints.
"What?"
"Emma," he turns to me. "I still love you. I have never stopped. But I was afraid that you wouldn't want me anymore, ever since I've met you; I've loved you. I tried to stop, but my heart wouldn't let me."
The words startled me.
"James," I mumble. "Why now? Why not sooner? I've been waiting for you to come to me because I was the one afraid that you didn't want me back."
He pushes a piece of my hair behind my ear, and cups my cheeks. "We are messed up."
I laugh at that and our foreheads touch, "we totally are." I watch his eyes as his arms go around me and my arms wrap around his neck. Our lips collide, and it was like my whole world lit up with sunlight. Fireworks went off in my mind. I felt alive again, I missed him. I love him.
"I fucking missed you and I," he says as we both pull away, but our foreheads touching again, and our arms still around each other.
"Me too," I smile. "I love you," I blurt out before stopping myself.
"I love you too," he says. His grip on me tightens and he plunges into the pool, myself wrapped in him.