Forget-Me-Not: Taste of Freedom

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

January 15th, 2001

Ananya had a strange relationship with loneliness. She'd seen too much of it, and at the same time, she absolutely hated it. There were times when she'd crave to be alone, to be left to her own devices, to just exist on her own. But the feeling of emptiness, of cold, hard reality was what made her hate it. Being alone was okay... being lonely was unacceptable. Right now, as she lay on her bed, thinking about everything that had happened in the last few days, she couldn't help but feel lonely. There was no one by her side this time. She'd managed to push everyone away. Vidhi might be somewhere, grappling with the reality that Abhay had slept with her best friend. Dia and Geet had issues of their own to solve; even though neither of them had talked about their problems with each other, Ananya knew that something was up. And as for Abhay...

She felt another pang of hurt when she thought about his phone call from a week ago. Vidhi had met him that night, after she got to know what had happened between them on New Year Eve. Or what had not happened, Ananya thought to herself. Vidhi had told him about her feelings... and maybe that was why he'd called.

The fact that she'd lied about what happened on New Year Eve didn't anger her. What really made her angry was the fact that she'd lied for nothing. Nothing had changed... the only thing she'd managed to accomplish by pretending that she slept with Abhay was to hurt everyone, including herself.

"I'm sorry," Abhay had said to her on the phone, a week ago. "I'm sorry for what happened, and for how you feel about me. If I could, Ananya, I would feel the same way for you. But I don't. I love Vidhi. What happened between us was a mistake."

She bit her lip, staring at her pillow cover, as she replayed those words in her mind. He thought it was a mistake... he still wasn't ready to accept that somewhere inside, even if just a little bit, he harbored emotions for her. That there was a possibility that he could feel the same way about her if he gave them a chance.

But his love for Vidhi was much greater than his friendly affection for her.

Suddenly, in a fit of rage, she hurled the pillow across her room and let out a deep breath. She hadn't lied for nothing... she hadn't hurt herself, and her best friend for nothing. She couldn't bear to spend her whole life knowing that she loved a man who could never be hers. She wasn't that strong... she wasn't like Vidhi. She couldn't give him up, even though it meant ruining her best friend's life.

I can't lose you, Abhay, Ananya thought to herself, almost desperately. I can't lose you now.

She picked up her phone and scrolled through the contacts, looking for Abhay's number. Before she could change her mind, she pressed call, and put the phone to her ear.

A few rings later, he answered. "Hello?" his voice was low and exhausted.

A soft sniffle broke from Ananya's mouth. "Abhay." She covered it, closing her eyes, and heard his puzzled voice.

"Ananya? What's going on? Are you crying?"

"N-no," she lied, "I'm... I'm not. I just..." another sob, another sniffle. A deep catching of breath. "I'm okay."

"Something is up. What is it?"

"I didn't know who to call..."

"Ananya, what is wrong?" he demanded, his voice taking on a harder edge now. The tiredness was gone; he sounded concerned. She gripped her phone tight, seeking for the right moment to blurt out the words. "If you don't talk to me right now, I'm going to come over there and..."