CHALLENGING THE TIME SEEMS TO BE NOT A GREAT IDEA BUT, COULD BE ANY OTHER WAY TO TRY TO SAVE FREDDIE'S LIFE WITHOUT EXPOSING YOUR OWN SKIN? DO YOU WANT TO FIND OUT HOW FAR OUR HEROINES ARE WILLING TO GO TO ACHIEVE THEIR HIGHEST GOAL?
I knew quite well what my doctor was going to tell me way before getting the results. If Eli was infected, I had given it to her. To her and most likely our baby.
Having in my hands the definitive results proving I was seropositive made me feel a whirlwind of feelings. The guilty feeling mostly was what lied beneath everything else. After trying so hard to burn myself, finally there I went. I was burning up alive.
The new Eli's runaway got a different overtone, different than other times. When we talked I got not the feeling she wanted to get away from me because I had infected her. But, why did she leave me behind when I needed her most?
Now I recalled in flashes her constant restless about safe sex. Her perseverance to make me understand how important was being careful about sex. In New Orleans while we were touring, when everything started off between us, when she stuffed the condoms into my pocket. It looked like she already knew something evil would storm into the careless sexual people.
However it happened, I was one of them now and even if I was a perfect candidate and miraculously, having gotten rid of that so far, after being tested negative a couple of years ago, I thought I was inmune. I came to think I got some kind of recessive gene that could prevent me from being sick. But it was clear I was chasing had all the hallmarks of catching it, most of all tending to be passive.
The worst part of it wasn't that thought of being sick, a sickness that eventually would kill me. Thinking about the face of my likely killer wasn't a main concern either. The worst of it all was thinking how many people I could have infected. And most of all being aware I had infected my most cherished treasure. My only living treasure on this earth. And now she had left me carrying with her my future child. And it was bound to be sick too.
I didn't know how could I get over that but I was pretty sure I needed to be surrounded by my beloved ones more than ever.
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- Don't put your ass in my face, little princess. I don't love you that much.
Dorothy was one of the reasons why I was still visiting the flat which eventually I had decided to rent, the first floor in Sebastiansplatz 4 building. It was larger than the attic, 130 square meters and Winnie could be in his work place within 20 seconds. We were still together with our peculiar love affair and moving to a larger place seemed to imply a stronger relationship.
Actually I loved the attic and was very romantic but our neverending fights in such a tiny space seemed to blow up way beyond words. Here we had a little more room and we could be comfortably apart from each other whenever we had a row. It happened so often.
Winnie came home one night with that beautiful stray cat, such a beautiful female and I smothered her with kisses. I missed my cats so much while I was in Munich and as soon as I set my eyes on her I called her Dorothy and we adopted her as our "little girl". At the end the feline used to be a good excuse to having some arguments too.
