CHALLENGING THE TIME SEEMS TO BE NOT A GREAT IDEA BUT, COULD BE ANY OTHER WAY TO TRY TO SAVE FREDDIE'S LIFE WITHOUT EXPOSING YOUR OWN SKIN? DO YOU WANT TO FIND OUT HOW FAR OUR HEROINES ARE WILLING TO GO TO ACHIEVE THEIR HIGHEST GOAL?
We were saved by the bell but Sally started to get suspicious about the way in which Siegfried used to watch over me. I didn't think she flared up in jealousy exactly but we should be careful if we didn't want her suspicions would spoil my plan, our plan.
Siegfried was certainly someone very complex. A boy who grew up inside a violent and perverted enviroment and yet, he was unable to beat anybody and whose glance seemed pure like a mountain lake. But his life always had been spent on the other side of the law, being some other people's object of desire, stronger than him. Changing his frame of mind and make him understand it was high time to run away from that was such a hard task. He needed someone stronger to take the lead.
He was aware of Sally's naturally psychopath personality. She had saved him and owed to her loyalty but his salvation hadn't been free. Siegfried was that kind of guy whom you could exercise control over so easily and that was just what Sally was looking for. And what seemingly she wanted to do with me.
But I was not Siegfried and she knew it. That's why she was playing with my emotional balance and bribed me with Farrokh. To force me into accepting to be her servant. In her ravenous zeal to destruction, her disturbed mind was pretty scary but what I was mostly afraid of was the way she analized me.
It was clearly such an evil departure from my own character to justify her plans but a little seed of truth laid beneath those lapidary phrases. She claimed that I hated Farrokh but she used him relentlessly as a coercion to break my will. Then, what did she play at? Did I hate him or did I love him? Maybe both?
Lying there all tied up my days spent lazy, I could only rack my brains looking for a way out. I wouldn't surrender to Sally. I wouldn't let Farrokh could die because of me and I wouldn't let her killing me. But what else should I do?
Trying to escape on my own had proved to be hard and risky. The only choice was teaming up with Siegfried against her. He was clearly a broken toy whom I could manipulate and the first step was he could open his heart to me. I had got it so easily. As I imagined, his life had been a string of horrifying events and he seemed to trip through a spiral of violence on and on. I should make him understand it was the right time to find the light, he couldn't keep on living in the dark. I didn't quite understand that some people only could live their lives like that.
It was very hard but I wouldn't give up. I was willing and able to take the necessary time to make him understand his life with Sally would end up in jail sooner or later. I tried time after time he could ponder over my proposition. It was a little bit risky because there was a chance that he could let Sally know about it and I would be in a big mess. But my obsession was gaining time so Farrokh could be safe and sound. I wouldn't please her telling her I would team up with her about her evil plans but I didn't want to refuse flatly to it for fear to reprisals.
Time was still a kinda haze. I couldn't imagine how long had I been in captivity. I had no way of knowing if Farrokh had been kidnapped as they did to me either. My process through all this period since my captivity had been changeable. Too many negative feelings together. Fear, disgust, humilliation, anxiety, hopelessness. In the beginning it had been almost impossible to sleep, so charged of negative electricity as I was. But once Siegfried's neutral and soothing voice started to read out loud the Russian's book, that was the point unfailingly I could finally drifft off to sleep just naturally.
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