Roommates with Benefits [COMPLETED]

Chapter 15 - The aftermath

Emma

I lie in bed listening to the sounds from the rest of the house. Haley's bright laughter contrasts against the lower murmurs of the men.

They come up the stairs, and I hear doors closing as they head to bed. Soon, the house is quiet, and all that keeps me up are the thoughts spinning in my head.

How could I have been so wrong? I was so sure Edwin liked Hannah. I roll over and let out a muffled scream into the pillow.

Why couldn't he have liked Hannah? It would have been so easy then. They would be so perfect for each other. But all this time, he was thinking of me?

I go through our interactions in my head. The times I thought he was hitting on Hannah or joining us so he could be near her. How did I not see that he was doing it to be with me? And I was nice to him, for Hannah's sake, and he thought I liked him.

I cover my face with my hands as I think of how I invited him to the party. Did I even mention that Hannah was coming? I must have.

How could I have been this blind? This stupid?

My hands drop to my sides and my stomach twists as I inhale. Hannah. Fear and sorrow mix inside me. I'm going to have to tell Hannah. She's going to be devastated. How can I tell her that the man I've been pushing her towards has a thing for me?

Outside, the snow keeps falling, blanketing the world in white. Inside, I toss and turn, trying to find the best way to tell my friend I made a huge mistake.

When morning comes, I dress for comfort. We have no plans for the day and it's still snowing. My dad has to work today and if tradition holds, he'll work an extra long shift so that he can have tomorrow off.

Ever since we were kids, but especially after my mom left, he refuses to work on Christmas Day. He once told me that if you want to make your own hours, you need to be so good at your job that you can't be easily replaced. My dad is good at his job.

So, I'm not surprised when I come downstairs and he's already left. Haley is sitting at the table, grimacing at a cup of something that is not coffee, while she wistfully glances at Noah's giant mug of pure blackness.

"Good morning," I say as I sit down at the counter.

"Waffle?" Daniel asks and holds one up. "We have blueberry and chocolate. But no cinnamon. Haley can't stand cinnamon."

I raise an eyebrow at my cousin, who just grimaces and places a hand on her stomach.

"Chocolate, please," I say just as the kitchen door opens and Knightley comes in.

"Just in time," Daniel says. "I'm making waffles." He places the waffles in the toaster.

"I already had breakfast," Knightley says, but heads over to the coffeemaker and pours himself a cup. Sometimes I forget how at home he is here. I forget he knows where we keep the mugs, and that he can never take the last of the raspberry pop tarts because they're my dad's favorite.

He glances over at me and raises the pot. I nod and he grabs a second mug and fills it. Without prompting, he gets the oat milk from the fridge and places it and the mug next to me.

"Thanks," I say and it hits me. I'm going to have to tell him. I'm going to have to tell him what happened yesterday. A groan almost escapes me. So much for my efforts to keep it secret.

Daniel places two waffles in front of me and I dust them with powdered sugar. Knightley is right that I eat unhealthy things in moderation, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy them once in a while.

After making sure everyone, including Knightley, has a plate of waffles in front of them, Daniel takes a seat next to his wife and brings up his plans for the day.

I chew slowly as I watch them debate if the roads are too bad to take a trip to the mall for last minute Christmas stuff. Noah insists that they're not, but I'm pretty sure that's only because he hasn't finished his shopping yet.

Haley yawns suddenly. "I'm going to take a nap." She gets up.

Noah wrinkles his eyebrows at his phone. "It's eight thirty in the morning."

"So?" Haley says with fierceness in her eyes. "Have you ever been pregnant?"

Noah holds up his hands in surrender.

"I think we can make it to the mall," Daniel says with a look after his wife. "They plowed the street here, so the rest of the streets should be traversable."

Noah finishes his coffee. "Let's go. Knightley, Emma?"

I shake my head.

"I'll stay here," Knightley says. "I'm already done with my shopping."

As the two men leave, I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

"You want more waffles? Coffee?" He gets up and rinses his mug and places it in the dishwasher.

"No, I'm good."

He doesn't believe me. I know he doesn't because he's trying very hard to not look at me. So I steel myself.

"I guess I owe you dinner."

There is tension in the kitchen. He stiffly walks over to the stool next to me and sits down.

"Oh?" is all he says.

"Yeah, you were right. Edwin is not interested in Hannah."

"He told you last night?"

I nod. "Yeah, it turns out he... He's interested in me."

Knightley goes still. So still I'm not sure he's breathing.

"And are you...?"

Frowning, I study him. His face is unreadable. "Am I what?"

He clears his throat. "Are you... interested?"

"In Edwin? No. Not even a little. Which I told him."

"How did he take it?"

"Not great. He thought inviting him here was my way of telling him I liked him."

"Sorry."

I shrug. "It's not your fault. You tried to warn me."

"Did you tell Hannah?"

"Not yet." My eyes slide to my phone. I must have composed a million messages while unable to sleep, and dismissed each one. "I think I have to tell her in person."

"That might be a good idea. You could invite her for a sleepover."

My eyebrow shoots up as I face him. He laughs. "My mom gave me my present early. She's always been bad at keeping secrets. She's going to LA for a week and invited me along. We'll be leaving this afternoon."

"You won't be here for Christmas?" I touch the bracelet I hadn't removed last night.

"I'll be back sometime after new years, so it's a perfect time to have Hannah over."

Disappointment courses through me as I nod. "I guess you'll get away from the snow at least. And I have heard some interesting things about California girls."

Our eyes meet, but he doesn't smile back at me.

My phone buzzes and I break eye contact. "It's Haley. She needs me." I get up, but before I can take a single step, he's in front of me. His hand lands on my arm and warmth sparks through me. As he pulls me into a hug, I barely breathe.

"I'm sorry about what happened," he murmurs near my ear, and it takes me a while to connect the dots. He smells of apples and wood and home.

The hug ends too soon, and he walks out the door.