Roommates with Benefits [COMPLETED]

Chapter 39 - Sudden realizations ❤️

❤️Adult content❤️

Emma

I can tell he's sobering up as we walk home. My buzz is all gone by the time we take off our jackets.

"I fucked up, didn't I?" he says.

"Yeah, you did." I try not to melt at the sadness in his eyes. "You can't go around calling me your girl."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not. I'm not your girl." The words hurt, but I say them anyway.

"I'm sorry. It just slipped out."

I'm mad. At him. At me. At the whole situation. I close my eyes as he comes closer. He puts his hands on my waist and lowers his head. Not to kiss me. He nuzzles into my neck.

"Are you mad at me?" He inhales deeply and puts his arms around me.

It's a tender moment. I feel my body relax and let go of the resentment in a long sigh. His lips are feather light against my neck.

"I need a shower," I say and reluctantly shake him off.

"Can I come?" There's a glint in his eye.

"No."

"We'd save water."

I smile. I can't stay mad at him. "Fine. You can come. Just let me remove my make-up."

He pulls his shirt over his head and my eyes dip to his muscles. His tattoo.

"We should use my shower," he leans in and kisses my cheek. "It's better."

"Just go." I shake my head and playfully push him ahead of me. He disappears into his room with a look over his shoulder at me.

I sit at the desk in my room and remove my fake eyelashes. The woman in the mirror looks serious. I swallow and grab a wipe. It's fine. I'm not falling in love with him. That was not a spark of love I felt when he called me his. It wasn't. Because I don't do love.

I wipe at the eye make-up.

Besides, it's not like he's in love with me. He just likes to fuck me. He was being protective of me like he is of his car. Like I'm his toy. That's all it was. He was drunk and saw someone he thought wanted to play with his toy. It's fine. Really, it is.

It's fine.

I join him in the shower. He's all warm and wet and when I step under the water, he grabs the shampoo and starts washing my hair. He doesn't even ask, just massages my scalp with gentle, firm circles. I let myself enjoy it. It's foreplay. That's all it is.

When we switch places so he can rinse away the suds, he stumbles just the tiniest bit.

"Are you still drunk?" I ask.

"No."

"Are you lying?"

"I'm fine." As if to prove this, he takes my hands and pins them against the wall above my head. There's a lust filled gleam in his eyes and I'm instantly turned on.

I breathe heavily as first his eyes, and then his hand, roam down my body. Water runs over us, making everything slick and wet. He lowers his head and nips at my nipple. His other hand goes between my legs and I spread them slightly, making room for him. Inviting him.

He knows how I like it, and he works me over, two fingers inside me and his thumb on my most sensitive area. I pant and moan, move against him.

"Come for me, princess. Come on my fingers." His mouth is by my ear, planting soft kisses along my jaw as I get closer and closer.

"I'm... Yes. Yes. Max." His mouth covers mine and I scream into him as he makes me see stars. I shudder and grind against his hand, coming hard.

"That's it," he says. "That's what I like to see."

He keeps kissing me as my body goes limp. When he lets go of my hands, I let them drop around his neck. I rest my cheek against his chest and he half carries me out of the shower and turns off the water.

I inhale deeply, satisfied and happy, as he wraps a towel around me.

"Max?" I make a move to stand on my own.

"Shh," he lifts me up and carries me to the bedroom, where he gently runs the towel over me. I watch him take care of me and run a hand through his wet hair.

He grabs a t-shirt and pulls it over my head. Puts on a pair of boxers. He then kisses me. I make to leave the room, but before I can take two steps, he grabs my wrist.

He smiles as I look at him questioningly. I thought we were done, but I smile at the thought of more. I'm tired, but not too tired. And I want him.

He pulls me to the bed and gets in first. I slip in under the covers beside him and he wraps me up. I turn to him and kiss him. He kisses me back with closed eyes. Then he puts his arm around me and pulls me in tight.

I wait to see what he wants, putting my hand on his waist and slowly letting it slide to his boxers, over them. He groans and takes my hand.

"Turn," he says and I smile and turn my back to him, thinking we're about to try a new position.

He puts his arm over my waist and pulls me close to him. My head rests on his outstretched other arm. The hand at my waist moves up to cup my breast and I press back into him.

And then, nothing. I take a deep breath and relax.

I must have drifted off to sleep. I blink my eyes open. Max is breathing heavily behind me. Asleep. I furrow my brow. I should leave. Carefully, I try to sneak away from under his arm, but he holds me in an iron grip, as if he doesn't want me to go.

It hits me like a piano from a clear sky. He wanted me to stay. I twist my head to look at him. He pulled me into bed because he wants me to sleep here. Sleep.

He's asleep next to me, and he wants me to stay.

I stare at him until my neck gets sore. He's drunk. That's it. He's still drunk, and he doesn't know what he's doing.

I wait until my heartbeat has calmed a bit before I try to lift his hand again.

"Stay," it's practically a growl. His arm tightens around me and I stop struggling.

His breathing becomes steady again, as if my world isn't falling apart. As if this is what he wanted.

What the fuck does this mean? What am I supposed to do now? This is not how this was supposed to go.

I can't sleep. Not here. Not now. Not when everything is changing. When everything is becoming what I don't want.

A tear slides down my cheek. Is this it? I don't do love. We agreed it would just be sex. But this is more than sex. He's holding me as if it means something. And I can't do that. Because when he leaves... If I don't get away now, the pain will be unbearable.

His hand is resting on my breast and it feels comfortable. Natural. Another tear drips onto his pillow.

I can't do this. He knows I can't do this. I told him. I told him it was just sex. That I don't do love. I don't do relationships.

More tears fall and I hate how safe I feel. How terrified I am. I want nothing more than to stay. But the memory of my dad in that dark room, with his empty eyes. The way he cried, and screamed, and threw things. I can't do this. I just can't. Max would be way too easy to love. I would fall too deeply.

My world cracks along with my heart. And I soak up as much of the warmth from his body as I can. But the moment his grip loosens, the moment I can stifle my sobs, I leave.