Roommates with Benefits [COMPLETED]

Chapter 44 - Good news, bad news

Emma

I stay with Hannah for the next few days. The air mattress is uncomfortable, and the apartment is small. But I don't care. It's better than Knightley's apartment. It's better than the memories of him and me.

I pretend to Hannah that everything is ok. But she keeps looking at me with concern and it's exhausting to act like I'm not falling apart.

In class, I barely know what we're talking about. I take notes and instantly forget them. But somehow I make it through the days. Monday. Tuesday.

It's Wednesday when I try to follow along in Organic Chemistry with Hannah. All around us, people bring out their phones toward the end of class. I see people whispering as the teacher goes through the next assignment.

A couple of people glance over at me and I furrow my brow.

"What's going on?" I ask Hannah.

"No idea." She brings out her phone, and I do the same, checking the usual social media.

And there it is. It's a clip of a video, with a transcript below. The video starts with Frank sitting in a chair, smiling at the person interviewing him.

He talks about being in a relationship. Mentions keeping it secret. The reporter asks her name and my mouth falls open. Avery.

His eyes light up when he talks about her. He says they met on the set of his latest movie and he fell for her instantly. She was harder to convince.

He jokes about pursuing her and the reporter asks if there really is a woman out there who wouldn't fall for him on the spot.

Frank says if she saw Avery, she would understand.

I look up the entire video as the teacher finally dismisses us. People are leaving the class, showing the video to the few who still haven't seen it.

Frank gushes about Avery being too good for him, about how he almost messed everything up when he insisted they keep it a secret. He talks a bit more about how his PR people thought it would be bad publicity if it got out that he was dating an extra.

There's more, but my mind isn't catching up to the news. I think back at the times I've seen them together. How close he stood to her at the talent show. How she stormed off after he kissed me at the party. I was so blind to all of it.

"Did you know?" I ask Hannah. And I see her. The woman sitting next to me. The friend I already caused heartache to by trying to set her up with Edwin. And now it's happened again.

She shakes her head. "No, I knew Avery had something going on. Remember, she got the flowers from a secret admirer?"

"I remember." Frank and I had joked that maybe they were from a teacher.

"She was secretive, so I guess it makes sense." She just packs up her stuff and I hurry after her as we leave the classroom.

"Are you...? How are you?" I ask.

"Fine." She looks at me, confused. "Why wouldn't I be? I mean, I'm a little upset that she didn't tell me, but I can understand them wanting to keep it a secret."

"But aren't you in love with Frank?"

Hannah laughs. "With Frank? No, why would you think that?"

"You said he saved you. When you fell off the ladder."

"He's not really my type. He's much too attention-seeking."

"But you said you had a crush on the guy that saved you?" Had I been wrong? I thought it was so clear.

Hannah blushes. "I do. But I wasn't talking about Frank."

"Who else has saved you?" I'm so confused.

She looks around, making sure no one is overhearing her. "Knightley."

My stomach drops.

"Knightley?"

"Remember at the bar, when I didn't have money for the drink and he just swooped in and paid?"

"Right." I want to throw up.

"I was so embarrassed, and Edwin just sneered at me and basically called me poor and trashy. And then Knightley appeared like a guardian angel. I thought you knew. You kept inviting me over. I thought that was your way of setting us up."

Setting her up? With Knightley? Why does this hurt do much?

All this time, she's been in love with him. It hits me like a punch to the gut. I want to tell her he's off limits. I want to yell at her that he's mine. That nobody else can touch him.

An irrational urge to keep every other woman away from him bubbles up inside me. He's not hers. She's not right for him. And he's not right for her. Can't she see it could never be them?

He wouldn't ever look at her. Couldn't.

"And he's been so kind to me since. He always asks how I'm doing if we run into each other. He's made sure I get home safely. And when we ran into each other at the coffee shop, he offered to pay for my coffee. It's the little things, you know."

I nod. The little things. Like how he always watched TV with us. My brain stops working. Knightley and Hannah. I can't. I just can't.

I keep my face neutral as Hannah tells me all the little ways she's noticed Knightley cares about her. And every sentence hammers the pain deeper.

My stomach aches and I want to throw up all the way to my car. All the way to Hannah's apartment. Was I just a way to spend a few lonely nights? I thought maybe I meant more, but was he already looking for his next hook up?

I don't need to feign feeling ill that night so I can go to bed early. I really don't feel well. In the small apartment, I can hear Hannah's even breathing as I lie awake. I drift into a fitful dream and wake up mumbling to myself. He's mine. He's mine.

But I know it's too late. I'm in love with him and it's too late. I love Knightley, Max, and it's too late. I cry myself to sleep.