Pose

[Chapter 7]

'FREYA!?' 'WHAT?? It's not my fault!! Do not look at me!!' 'Too late! You're the top and everybody knows it!!' I cross my arms before Andrea pats my head trying to calm me. 'Ash-' 'Do not speak!! You're also in trouble young lady! ' 'I'm older than you-!' 'Not today!' 'That's not how that works-!' 'It is now!' 'Look can we just forget about it?? I mean it's seriiusly nit a big deal-' 'Andrea doesn't have enough money to take care of a kid! Freya!' 'Maybe she doesn't but I do and so does Lizzy so.. We'll help her.' 'We already planned it out, I move in-' 'And become a mooch-??' 'No! I'm keeping my job I'm just going to put some time in for myself for once..' I sigh looking at her. 'Are you sure this is what you want..? You promise you're sure they make you happy, Money or not??' 'Yes! Obviously.. I'm not a mooch.' I suddenly hear Zaiden mumbling as I turn to face him. 'I honestly thought you'd get Lizzy pregnant first-' 'You stay outta it!' 'What-??' 'Shush. Freya, You fucking break my sister's heart I'll have your head on a stick!' 'You can try but alright..' Andrea hugs me before I hug her back before she leaves with Freya and Lizzy and I just stare at the ground before I start drowning in thoughts. They all disappear though when I feel a hand o  my shoulder making me Jump and back away before I notice Zaiden looking at me pulling his hand back. 'Uhm.. Sorry I was trying to comfort you but it's hard to approach you..' 'I-I'm sorry.. I'm justs till kind of.. Jumpy..' 'It's alright it's not your fault.' Suddenly mike comes sliding down the hallway in socks before he falls on his ass in front of us. 'Ah! Working on the stopping.. Is it true That Ash used to be a stripper??' 'Wh.. What.. Where did you hear that from..??' I stare down at mike before he hands his phone over to me which has a video of me dancing as a stripper on it. I'm frozen staring at it before Zaiden grabs the phine staring at it and tosses it back at Mike before he storms off looking pissed. I lower my ears while watching him leave and I start hugging myself. I'm fired... I'm done for..  He hates me.. I start to back away before heading to my room and I grab my things before I put Minx into her carrier and I start heading for the door but I'm stopped by Tannar. 'Hey- Where are you going..??' I keep my head down and brush past him trying to ignore him as I leave and start heading for somewhere to hide. I eventually find a small forest area nearby and i go find a spot between the trees to hide while I wait for everything to cool down. I ruined my one chance at having a future... I'm so fucking stupid.. I sigh before I pet Minx and I take off her collar putting her on the ground. 'Go find Andrea okay? You know how.' I pet minx before She bolts off and I get up walking deeper into the woods. I eventually reach a point that's too deep to even hear the city anymore and I decide to sit down. I don't see a point in trying anymore.. I might just as well die here.. I don't have anything left.. I pissed Zaiden off.. I don't have a job.. I don't have anything except Andrea... I'm sure she's going to start hating me too pretty soon.. I pull my ears down and pull my knees up to my chest and hug my legs as I can feel my claws start to dig into my skin. I move my hands up closer to my throat near my wound before I hear a dog barking and rustling in the bushes behind me so I hug myself again hoping it'll go away.. It goes quite after a but and just as I think it's safe Nora jumps out from behind the bushes pushing herself up between my legs making me hug her instead before she starts licking my face and barking as Zaiden comes running over and he slides down next to me. 'Ash what the fuck did you do!?' 'I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to make you mad..' Zaiden Grabs me picking me up before he starts carrying me somewhere but I find it difficult to stay awake. I start to pass out and all I hear is Zaiden yelling at me to stay awake. It's just fucking hard.. When I open my eyes again I'm back in Zaiden's house in my room and I start panicking. I start clawing at my skin again panicking and backing up against the back of the bed. 'Why am I back here..!? I don't want to be here.. I wanna go back.. I don't want to suffer anymore... Please let me go back..! Zaiden walks into the room before he perks his ears up and walks over to my trying to get me to stop clawing at myself but I don't let him. Soon after Nora runs over and tries but I growl at her but she barks at me continuing to try but I don't let her. 'Ash! Ash look at me! What's going on??' 'You hate me... Everyone hates me.. They all just judge me..! I don't deserve any of this..! I don't want to go through all of this anymore..! I just want to be at peace-!' I start digging my claws in deeper into my skin before Zaiden finally forces my hands away from my skin as he pins me down on the bed and calls Clide over. The next thing I know my hands are tied to the bed so they can't reach my skin and I try tugging at the ropes to get my hands free as I watch Zaiden who looks worried. Andrea enters the room before walking over to me and pulling me into a hug while dragging a hand through my hair. 'It's okay.. Nobody's mad at you... It's okay.. it's okay ... It's not your fault.. It's not your fault..' 'He ruined my life... I'm a monster Andrea..' 'You're not a monster.. You're not, A monster..okay?? He's not a monster is he Zaiden??' 'No.. He's not..' 'Ash.. You did what you did because you had no choice and it helped you survive... It's not your fault you got mixed up with Nate and his friends..' I hear the Tv start to go off and I try oto hear what they're saying  "Breaking news. After a late night party problem at well known designer Kaiden Slater's friends party, a fight took place that was described as a 'Bloody masacre.' By many witnesses. Shortly afterward the victim's close family friend posted a story online about the brutal injuries his friend had to endure. Claiming that, 'Zaiden Slater assaulted my friend, with no reasoning whatsoever. The big celebrity used the excuse of his boyfriend, Ex model and dancer Ash Stone being in danger.' It was later also revealed that Ash had attacked first in the bathrooms, after he was "angry" claiming that Mr. Nate Hendricks, The victim had gotten him pregnant on accident years back at a strip show, after Ash had forced himself onto Mr. Nate. A huge debate has started, as to the actions that are being taken towards the attackers.' I start Zoning out and just sit with my head hanging down before Andrea tries to lift me head and I hear the Tv shut off. 'What bullshit!' 'Zaiden try to calm down you're not helping!' 'I'm fucking trying but that Jackass has to be out in his place!!' I flinch at the yelling as I pull my knees up to my chest unable to pull my arms closer as Andrea tries running a hand through my hair. 'Ash You want to see Minx?' I don't have enough energy left to nod or shake my head so I just stare down hoping it'll all be over soon.. Minx jumps onto the bed walking over rubbing against my face and Meowing like crazy until I hear Zaiden Punch the wall making me flinch again. 'Zaiden!' 'I'm sorry! I can't help it!' Zaiden grabs at his wrist holding it and cussing before Andrea tries to make me look at her but I can barely keep my head up. Clide walks into the room looking over at Zaiden and he starts cussing him out. 'You punched the fucking wall again.. I heard that from all the way downstairs! You scared Malikai!' 'I  wasn't trying to! I'm fucking pissed have you seen the bullshit on the television!? Fucking look at Ash! Tell me that to you is okay that someone is doing that to him!!' 'It isn't okay, But you have to try to calm down!' 'I'm sorry...' I mamage to mutter under my breath before the entire rooms eyes are now on me. 'It's ny fault...' 'Ash, quit it, It's not your fault okay??' Zaiden walks over cupping my fave in his hands making me look at him before I notice his face became really soft again.. I wish I could stare at his eyes more often.. 'Ash..? Ash! Look at me..! Fuck!' 'Zaiden move away a little, Go get James! I think he's loosing too much blood..!' Clide runs off and Zaiden takes the ropes off before he takes me holding me in his arms. 'Ash stay with me, you're fine! Okay-??'

I don't remember much of what happened next. I just remember waking uo feeling exhausted with a bunch of machines making noise around me and a heavy weight laying on my stomach. I stare down and notice Amdrea laying on my stomach. Did I really do that much damage to myself..? Then again.. Maybe it still just wasn't enough.. Minx jumps up licking my face and I pet her ehile trying to push her away and I notice how bruised my hand is from tugging at the ropes. 'Finally.. have a good nap?' I look over to see Clide leaning against the wall. 'Where's.. Zaiden..?' 'He.. had to go touch some grass... and punch someone. With a broken wrist..' I turn my head to stare at the ceiling again before Someone else walks in the room. I look over to see Amanda and Kaiden staring at me which just makes me want to hide under the covers or bury myself more. 'Ash.. are you okay?' 'Fine..' 'Ash.. We need you to know something. Zaiden is extremely protective and caring.. He just had this.. connection with you. It sets something off in him, making him want to fight, He can never be mad at you, None of us can..' 'I messed it all up... Now everybody knows...' 'Knows what..?' 'They know about my first job... They know about Nate..' 'Did Nate really.. get you pregnant..?' Clide questions and I shake my head. 'He thinks he did... After he payed me to go live in an apartment next to him... He'd always come over and... He would pay me... but I didn't want to any more so I told him I was pregnant but he still wouldn't leave me alone... Now he's using it against me..' 'Shit.. That's really fucked up...' The room goes quiet before Zaiden comes back in but Clide stops him pushing him back out of the room and everyone follows. I lay staring at the ceiling as I try to listen to the conversation but it's too muffled. Andrea comes back sitting beside me and I look over at her taking her face in my hand. 'Don't scare me like that again Ash.. I need you here..' 'No Andrea...you don't... You need Freya and Lizzy.. They can make you happier than I ever could..' 'Ash listen to yourself! You're the only part of our family that's still standing..! I can't do it without you..' 'Yes you can... I won't always be here...' 'What if dad comes back?? I can't face him like you can Ash..' 'Yes you can, You're stronger than me..' 'I'm not letting you leave me... It doesn't matter what I have to do..do you understand??' Maybe she's right.. I have to protect her but... what about me..? Am I only here for Andrea..? Zaiden seems to care so much... It's hard to believe he would like me in even the slightest.. I didn't want my past to resurface.. I can't let it.. but it already has somehow..