EVERY LAST WORD

She/ Her

There's this girl I know,
I'm gonna sit with her in silence.
If that's what she needs.
No words pass her lips,
We can share this pain and horror silently.
If that's what she needs.
I know her.
I know her beauty and her goodness.
Her kindness and her warm heart.
She makes everyone a priority.
She is her very own circle of life.
And now?
Maybe she feels it has been stolen from her.
Taken in darkness without her permission.
Her light is still on.
Her strength goddess like and while she feels broken  we'll keep it safe for her,
That oh-so-precious light!
We'll keep it warm and safe and bright;
Until she's ready.
There's this girl I know,
I wish you knew her too.

Here, you're at home, here I hope you feel at peace.
All the feeling that you've ignored before, I hope you feel here, and if it's draining, learn from it and let go of it.

Like most people, my past tends to define my present, different occurrences have led me to a struggle of bottling everything inside, feeling nothing at all until I feel everything at once. I am nowhere close to an amazing writer and I don't even know the first steps to writing a book, a poem, a novel, anything you name it. But one thing I do know for sure is, each time I write it allows me to perceive all my emotions that I think cannot be controlled, be controlled.
I have found writing to me to be like a world away from the real world, a world where I can freely express feelings without fear of being judged or feeling like I said too much, writing for me is like therapists are to people, the ability to be able to find a way to orchestrate my feeling into words that can actually be expressed has been therapy to me.
Like most people, "notes" application to me is deeper than just an application used to type to-do lists or grocery shopping lists or whatever else people may use it for. To me it is an escape room where I'm able to freely express and re-read to feel and understand certain things twice, especially in the circumstances where I cannot write in my journal.

I'm writing this book to finally speak out and share some of my "notes" moments with the world in hope to make a difference for someone, maybe two people. From moments that were so dark I never thought I'd make it out of, to the moments where I felt like a feather on cloud nine.
As I sit here in silence under the light from the stars and moon typing this words and reliving every moment that I wish to share, I'm praying that who ever will read my book and relate to it will find comfort in this book, I'm writing this to reach out to that one person that could read my book and know that they aren't alone,  know that with every emotion you feel, every milestone life has to bring, YOU aren't alone and it is okay to feel, EVERY LAST WORD.

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AM I ENOUGH!?

Once I loved the darkness for all the wrong reasons. I used to want to be under the moonlight because it was too dark to see the imperfections in my skin but just bright enough to see the sparkle in my eyes.
A twisted society that made me feel I could only be as good as the other girls when there's little to no light.

But that changed;

The moon taught me there's beauty in the  darkness and NO, I do not mean the color of my skin. Under the moonlight, I'm reminded that we are all equals, created by the same God, from the same dirt, I am just as good maybe even better because of my faith. it doesn't matter the color of your skin, the texture of your hair, whether or not you have acne or clear skin, whether you're tall or short, skinny or fat, thick or thin.

Let me break that down, I had found more light within me under the moon than I ever did under the bright sun.

Now don't get me wrong, I love the sun. After all I am a morning person. But one cannot stare at the sun as long as they can at the moon without being blinded by it's bright rays.

Made to feel like I was only beautiful under little to no light I learned to love the moon for the wrong reasons.

Now, under the moon I am reminded that, whether it is a quarter moon, half a moon or a full moon, they all shine just as bright.
And I am ENOUGH!

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