Not What I Need

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

<Rosa's P.O.V.>

I just woke up and the sun is up!

"Yay!!! I get to go home!" I scream out to myself. I reach over to Niall, who is cuddled up with the pillow I gave him last night, on the chair next to the bed. "Wake up sleepyhead! Time to go home! C'mon, wake up!"

Dang, he's a heavy sleeper!

I shake his shoulder and he starts to mumble. "What's... going on? Ha..zel? Hazelia?"

What? Was he dreaming about Hazelia!?

I mean, I don't care, but.. To hell with that, I do care!

"Hazel? Were you dreaming about Hazelia?" He nearly jumps out of his skin and that's when I knew he heard me. "Well...?"

"Ummm....." He seems like he's about to lie right through his teeth. "No! No no no no. I wasn't dreaming about her! I was dreaming about... Pancakes! Speaking of which, we should go get some!"

He reaches for my hand and pulls me out of the bed. I jerk my hand away.

"I can walk on my own!" I snap at him because, yes, I am jealous, but can you blame me?! He was dreaming about Hazelia and then decided to lie right to my face!

"Okay, well... I'ma go to the desk lady and ask for your discharge papers." He looks to the floor as he turns to walk out of the room.

<Hazelia's P.O.V.>

Well that could have been worse. I got to talk to Niall at least for a bit. Now he knows more about me than I have ever shared with anyone, even Rosa!

I had no choice but to tell him! He deserved the right to know, but he doesn't know enough, not yet.

Only reason I knew so much is because when it happened before in the hospital, I looked it up. It happened a lot when I was little, but because of what happened when I was little.

I was kidnapped when I was 12.

My dreams were never good. Every night having to go to bed with those traumatic memories in my mind. Of the kidnappers, what they did, how long I was with them.

That was when I began to cut.

Rosa knows that I have scars, but not from what.

I would usually find the sharpest object I could find and just dig deep into my skin until I drew blood.

Then, one day I just couldn't take it anymore. I would usually only do one cut at a time, but this time was different.

~~MEMORY~~

I just walked in the door. I saw my mom on the couch sleeping because she just came back from work and my sibilings were out playing with their friends.

My day had been rough already.

I was teased, picked on, and bullied by the other kids at school. My family would always call me names like 'fat' and 'ugly'. My father didn't even care about me so he told my mom to keep me, but my mom never had time for me.

I was just fed up! My life sucked! I took one of the knives in the kitchen and took it into the washroom. I took a deep breath and dug it deep into the skin on my wrist. Then I just kept cutting until I spelt the word UNWANTED on my arm.

The blood never bothered me. To me it seemed soothing to see that I was still human and that I wasn't that different from every other human being.

I watched as the blood dripped down my arm as I balanced it to my fingertips. With the blood, I spelled out UGLY & FAT on my other arm.

I looked in the mirror, smiled and passed out.

When I awoke, I was in the hospital getting stitches in my arm. 45 stitches in my arm. I watched the nurse wrap my arm with gauze as the blood seeped through.

When she realized I was awake, she looked at me and smiled.

"See, there? You know your not ugly or fat... or unwanted." She pointed towards a group of people I have never seen before gathering around my mom as she was crying.

"You just don't understand..."

"Your mother said she found you on the floor of her washroom. She said it looked like a horror movie." The nurse giggled and then got serious again. "Although, she also said that she couldn't bear to lose her only daughter..." The nurse looked at me and walked away.

~~PRESENT~~

No one knows how much of a burden carrying around memories like that. That's when I began the astral projections.

I would just get so sleepy, all the time, and not dream. Instead, I would just have these experiences where I would see everything but no one could see me. Then, I learned that I could do whatever I want. So I would go to the park, play with dogs (because somehow they saw me), and just be crazy and wild without a care.

When I grew older, around 14, the experiences stopped. Mostly I guess because I was happy! I had friends, got a tattoo (to cover up my scars), and lived recklessly.

That's when I met Rosa, she was a wild one then... and still is. She was my best friend's little sister.

He was like my real older brother. He was 2 years older than me and got me into different clubs, hangouts, and other places I shouldn't have been at 14 and 15, but I didn't care.

He was the best thing to happen to me. He was my first ever love. He was my real first time when I was 15. We never told Rosa because we knew she couldn't handle that.

He was always nice and caring towards me. He even got arrested from fighting in a club because he was defending me. He was my savior from all of my problems. Until one day when Rosa told me he had moved away.

Rosa then took his place. I mean, we kept in touch until about a couple of months ago. Rosa says he's alright but it would be nice to hear it from him. He was my first ever crush, and I never got the chance to do anything about it.

Ever since then though, Rosa has been my outlet and I moved in with her when she got her own flat. We have graduated together and gone to the same local university and just have been complete and total party-addicts!

We were like magically thrown together by this unknown unnatural force. But, we were just happy to have each other. We were, are, and will always be best friends no matter what.

I may be 16 but I never knew of all these adventures we would endure together...

Meeting a long cousin.

Finding out he's famous.

Meeting the rest of 1D.

Being in an accident.

Falling in love... Again.

Getting pregnant.

Having a miscarriage.

Going back to the hospital, again.

Going through all of this, before I was even 18 was mind boggling. I'm not sure how long I'm going to be able to deal before it starts to affect me more...