spores of life......'the last of us' fanfiction

chapter 4 "piece of my heart"

I closed my eyes feeling the hot water poure over my skin. I haven't taken a hot shower in years. I could nearly fall asleep. I was so exhausted. I was starting to truly feel my age. Creaky and old.
I heard a knock at the door.
"Hey jop, could I talk to you?" a voice says.
"Uh...give me a minute"
I shut the water off then wrap a towel around me. I open the door. Tommy is sitting on the edge of the bed. Hee looked up at me. "Just wanted to check up on you"

"Did you wanna hop in the shower with me too? Jesus" I walk to the side of the bed to look at the clothes left behind for me. "Scrubs? Really?"

"Yeah...about that.... Maria is pregnant. She's terrified. She wants a professional to birth our child"

"Ohh congratulations. No"

"Come on Joplin!"

"No tommy. You've clearly been doing fine on your own. There are hundreds of children here. If maria is a real woman she'll know exactly how to birth a child. It's instinct"

"We haven't needed to cut anyone open yet! That's serous surgery! We also need a medic here. The last woman we had as a nurse died. She was 104. We need someone"

"If y'all were smart enough you would've had that woman train people"

"Never thought of that"

"Yeah and you never thought of arming your people either. I bet them kids can't even defend themselves. Remember what Ronald Reagan said the 'most terrifying words to hear is I'm from the government and I'm here to help'? Bullshit"

"Damn it Joplin! Why do you have to be so judgemental!! All the time!? Since the day my brother knocked you up!"

"Because you're a fuckin idiot tommy!! You're immature!! You'll never grow up! And don't you ever bring them up again you hear me!"
Tommy stood up and faced me getting close with anger.
"I loved. them too you know!! You aren't the only one with their memories!  They're in my past too!! Sure I was immature back then with no responsibilities but that don't define me now!"

"Well lucky for you, you moved on pretty quick huh!? I've seen you for three hours that don't prove nothin to me!! You're still the asshole you used to be!!"

"I need you!! I want you here! Is that so hard to realize!? Why can't you just stay with me here! It's safe here!"

"You need me to take care of your wife and that's all!! Just like the past tommy! Take take take take!!"

He grabbed my arms with his hands. His hands pulled me close to him roughly. He kissed me so deep and so hard I was stunned. He pulled away and stared at my face. I shoved him "what the fuck are you doin!?" I watched him pathetically. "...I've always loved you.." he says quietly. "You.. you have a child on the way tommy." He came close to me once more. He gently placed his hands on my cheeks. He kissed me again this time passionately. There was something wrong with me, because I kissed him back. We didn't stop. I don't know why. I didn't have any feelings for tommy at all. I hated him to be honest. I think I felt so hurt and alone. It was the only way I could feel something. He laid me down on the bed beside us. He kissed my skin from my hips to my head. I closed my eyes. I didn't like what I was doing. We kissed roughly as he tore off his pants. I gripped his hair as I moaned aloud. I threw my head back in loud moans as he took my body. I kept my eyes closed. I just imagined Joel, I imagined him doing this to me. His body on mine. His love being made into me. I clawed at his shoulders as he groaned into my neck. His hands grabbed ahold of the skin on my thighs. He clawed into them moaning in pleasure. I gripped the sheets above my head. I kept my eyes closed as we connected our mouths moaning into one another. My breath was shaky along with my knees. He held me against his body thrusting deeper into my own. I grabbed at his hips. I haven't had sex in almost twenty years. It was painful, but so good. I scratched at his skin. "fuck!" He moaned. "Yeah! Yeah!" I moaned aloud throwing my head back in pleasure. He suckles and kissed my neck as his breathing got heavy. "Ooh.. J..Joel!" I moaned uncontrollably. Tommy stopped. He looked at me. "What...?" He gulped. I
Panted looking up at him. "I'm sorry" I said leaning up on my elbows. Tommy stood up. He buckled his belt. "No. No. No. I'm sorry this...this was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened. I'm so sorry" I watched him in shame. "I'm married. I...I'm a father... This was a huge mistake" tommy quickly rushed out the door. I watched him leave with such guilt. It felt so real. It felt like Joel was on me. He felt like Joel. I looked around the room in embarrassment and guilt. I hugged myself as i stared at my wet towel on the floor. I cheated. I cheated for my own selfishness. I was feeling so scared and alone...for that moment i didn't feel any of that anymore. I curled up on the bed. I felt so dirty. I don't think I could ever forgive myself for what I've done. Never in a million years would I think of that happening. I was so sure that was Joel. My mind couldn't wrap around the feeling. His skin was identical. His touch was immaculate.witg my eyes closed...it was Joel... I stayed in that house for the rest of of the night. I most definitely could not stay now. I was for certain leaving tomorrow morning.