spores of life......'the last of us' fanfiction

chapter 17 "iris"

The warm breeze, the warm sun, green on the trees and ground, the earth was beautiful, but the people in it...not so much... It's been one month. Spring time. We traveled the highways on foot to find some hospital. We had maybe 10 days left. "I think this is were we break apart Joplin" Joel says. I look up at him. "what?"
"I think it's best if you head back to tommys"

"What are talking about Joel? I've been with you think entire time!"

"I know that baby... But.. I don't want you fighting any fights anymore"
I crossed my arms "oh yeah? Why's that?"
"Because Joplin I want to protect you and you know" my face falls. "How do you know about that?" I questioned. He sighed as he glanced past me. I look behind me at Ellie who is looking in the opposite direction avoiding conflict. I sighed and looked at Joel. "I'm staying with you"

"Joplin I'm serious. I don't want you getting hurt again! I ain't losing you or another child again! So please! Just do me this favor and head back home god damn it!" He turned away to calm himself down. "Alright...." I cleared my voice. "Take these. And the horse" he handed me two guns and the last remaining horse we had. "No you keep the horse. You'll get home faster."

"No Joplin. I'll find a car back. Please baby..just do this for me alright?"

"Okay... Promise me you'll get back home safe?"

"I promise I will mama" he held my face as I placed my hands around his wrists. I kissed his palms. "I'm serious. you have to come back to me" he nodded as he kissed me deeply. I looked back at Ellie. Ellie seemed tearful. "You too miss priss!" I smiled at her. "I'd you don't come back home safe and sound we're gonna have a problem!" I wandered close to her.cshe smiled slightly as she dove herself into my body. She hugged me tightly. "I will I promise! Please be careful!" She said sternly in my chest.vi stroked her hair. "I will"

.....

Hours had past. Hours. After long boring  made it back to the walls. I hopped down off my horse walking it to the gates. "Not so fast!" I looked up at the top of the gate with guns drawn to me. "Open the fucking hate tommy!" I yelled. Tommy's face dropped as he saw my face and body torn up and Joel and Ellie no longer with me. The gates opened as I stepped in. He confronted me anxiously. I held my hand up to stop him from speaking. "They're fine. They're healthy and alive. Joel and I made the best decision to go out Separate ways" I say as I walk past everyone watching me in shock at my scars and wounds. I walk across the small town putting my horse into the barn. "We lost a horse. Someone shot it"
"What happened to you?" Tommy asked as he followed close behind me. "Alot of shit. i don't feel like talking about it right now"

"Why did he send you back here?" He questioned as he checked out my face. "Because of my condition" I say as I give the horse feed. "What condition?" I turned my fave away from him as I pour water in a bucket for the animal. "I'm pregnant" I say as I look at him a bit irritated. His face lights up slightly. "Really!? How!? I mean I know how but like how-"

"How because I'm so fucking old? It's beyond me"

"So...so Im having a niece or nephew huh!? That's great" he smiled. I laughed sarcastically. " Or, or or!! A daughter or son! You fuckin idiot!" I slammed the stall door shut as I walked past him to hang up the saddle. "....you.. think it's...fuck.."
"Yeah! Fuck!! Tommy! This is on you!"

"On me!? It takes two to tango! Hello!"

"You told me my husband was dead!! But you knew for a fucking fact!! He was alive!"

"I never thought he'd come here! I just assumed he'd stay at the QZ!!" He yelled. "You still knew. You lied to me for over a year! This is on you!" Tommy rubbed his face. "Are...are you gonna tell Joel?"

"Do you wanna die!? Tommy!? Are you that dumb?" Tommy ran his hands through his hair. "I..."
"Don't tommy. Don't worry about it"

.....

I stood in the hot shower with my eyes closed. For some reason I kept seeing that man's face. His crazy grin, his friends hands that left bruises on my wrists. The feeling of him ripping my legs open. My mind couldn't shake it. The scares on my face is forever a reminder of that night, the horror, the agony. I could see the man's face in the back of my eyelids. I felt as if I could still feel him violating and piercing my insides. The pain in my spleen stayed and teased me every day, like a phantom pain, but only this felt real. I could feel it as I was standing in that shower. It felt like my guts were falling out. I groaned in pain as I hunched over. I gasped holding my gut. "F..fuck!" I groaned. I fell to my knees looking down at the water on the tub floor. Although I didn't see water, I saw a river of blood. Not again. I sat on the floor of the tub holding my knees to my chest. There I watched my unborn child wash down the drain. I stared at the water as tears roll down my face. I stared up at the ceiling as I sobbed in agony.  Why can't I just have this one thing? A child, a happy life. I can't have any of it. I had zero dignity left.  I sat and drowned in my own sorrow

......